PDA

View Full Version : What should i do?


Dominae
02-10-2005, 02:56 PM
<font color="#9900FF">OK so here's the thing....

I play football (soccer) for my local team and have been now for 2years... Back in October 2004, a new member joined our team. i was totally infatuated with her, she's beautiful, sooo funny, and REALLY kind and caring... I was having a few problems with our manager back at the time she arrived and although we hadn't known eachother very long she was always the first if not the only person who would text me to see if i was ok!

We were getting quite close at one point always texting eachother and started going out to the pub to play pool, and have a few bevvies and just get to know one another as friends.
couple of my friends knew i fancied her, and i believe that she was told... (she has a boyfriend, i was aware of this and that they been together for 5years he's a lot older than her)

On sunday evenings our football club always goes to the same pub for karaoke and a laugh, and i think most people noticed that she was being really flirty and touchy feely with me, (i blamed it on the alcohol).

anyways come december, we were really good mates and felt we could confide in one another about anything. we were really really close. After one sunday night i gave her and another one of my mates a lift home (i dont drink and they were plastered) the other girl got out to help her to her door, but she stayed in the car and was hugging me telling me how much she loved me and that i was her best mate and that she will always be there for me and all the stuff most people say when there drunk! She was conviced that after that she had said something out of line but i assured her that she had not......

ok skipping to the real problem now.... about a week before christmas she found out from a text message on my phone that i fancied her, and now ever since things have just been so different between us, even though she text me the next day to say that nothing has changed... now i can barely get a "hello" from her and she doesn't hug or touch me in any way.

Things have just completly changed,I sent her a really long email about a week after things had changed to say that, i respect her so much as a friend and that i seriously didnt want to lose that, and that i wouldnt do anything to attempt losing that. all i got back was a text saying "thanks for your email" she didnt reassure me that things were fine or anything... and now 2months on things just seem to be getting worse, and its now starting to get me really down, i cry nearly every night and im just constently depressed! im not eating and i cant sleep (i dont blame this all on her though there our other reasons which i wont go into)...

I just really dont know what to do i've tried just saying just forget it she isnt worth it, but it doesnt work as i feel the friendship we did have was worth fighting for!!!

I've tried the sit back andlet her come to me approach but that DEFINETLY doesnt work and then i've tried just pretending its not happening and jsut being myself around her, but i just hate that i have to make the first move to speak to her everytime! I just want us to be back to the way we were before everything fell apart, i blame myself for liking her as she obviously felt uncomfortable with it and now i feel that she thinks i only wanna talk to her because i think she's fit, even though i totally explained that that's just not it... please if anyone knows something i can try then please please help me out, its seriusly starting to drive me insane!

SO sorry that this post is so long, hope you guys who have managed to get this far didnt get too bored! i jsut really needed to get it off my chest as its really eating me away and i cant handle it anymore i just want it to stop!

Love Always
Dominae
xxx </font>

fudge
02-10-2005, 04:44 PM
i don't really know what to tell you...

maybe you should show her this post?

littlangel008
02-11-2005, 05:08 AM
[ QUOTE ]
maybe you should show her this post?

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought the same actually..

But, to be completely sincere, i understand how your friend can feel, as i guess i would feel very weird to know that my best friend has fancied me for months. I guess it's hard to handle this kind of things for her, knowing that you got a crunch on her. How can things be the exact same? /images/graemlins/crazy.gif It's like if you have a best friend boy and you find out that he's been in love with you for a while, it breaks smthg doesn't it?
Maybe should you talk to her about it instead of sending her an e-mail?! If you girls talk in person, she won't be able to just say "thanks for your e-mail"! Or if it can make you feel more comfortable talk to her on the phone. Tell her how you feel, how much you hurt! I'm sure she wouldn't like to know that you cry every night and can't eat anymore /images/graemlins/frown.gif
Plz, talk to her.

Dominae
02-11-2005, 01:19 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
maybe you should show her this post?

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought the same actually..

But, to be completely sincere, i understand how your friend can feel, as i guess i would feel very weird to know that my best friend has fancied me for months. I guess it's hard to handle this kind of things for her, knowing that you got a crunch on her. How can things be the exact same? /images/graemlins/crazy.gif It's like if you have a best friend boy and you find out that he's been in love with you for a while, it breaks smthg doesn't it?
Maybe should you talk to her about it instead of sending her an e-mail?! If you girls talk in person, she won't be able to just say "thanks for your e-mail"! Or if it can make you feel more comfortable talk to her on the phone. Tell her how you feel, how much you hurt! I'm sure she wouldn't like to know that you cry every night and can't eat anymore /images/graemlins/frown.gif
Plz, talk to her.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="#9900FF">I've talked to her several times in person whilst we have been down the pub, but i just seem to get a bit of a shrug and "things are fine".... but they're just obviously not.

Sometimes we'll talk and it will feel like old times but then, shortly after things feel cold again... and can stay like it for weeks. I just wish she would honestly tell me whats going through her mind even if it was to tell me to shove it, and leave her be. just something to set my mind at ease! </font>

taz90
02-12-2005, 01:02 AM
maybe you should show her this post, because i think it explains everything to her nicely, and she can see from this what its doing to you, not knowing whats on her mind, maybe if she see's this she might open up to ya,
if ya wana talk jus pm me /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Sarah xxx

littlangel008
02-12-2005, 04:30 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
maybe you should show her this post?

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought the same actually..

But, to be completely sincere, i understand how your friend can feel, as i guess i would feel very weird to know that my best friend has fancied me for months. I guess it's hard to handle this kind of things for her, knowing that you got a crunch on her. How can things be the exact same? /images/graemlins/crazy.gif It's like if you have a best friend boy and you find out that he's been in love with you for a while, it breaks smthg doesn't it?
Maybe should you talk to her about it instead of sending her an e-mail?! If you girls talk in person, she won't be able to just say "thanks for your e-mail"! Or if it can make you feel more comfortable talk to her on the phone. Tell her how you feel, how much you hurt! I'm sure she wouldn't like to know that you cry every night and can't eat anymore /images/graemlins/frown.gif
Plz, talk to her.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="#9900FF">I've talked to her several times in person whilst we have been down the pub, but i just seem to get a bit of a shrug and "things are fine".... but they're just obviously not.

Sometimes we'll talk and it will feel like old times but then, shortly after things feel cold again... and can stay like it for weeks. I just wish she would honestly tell me whats going through her mind even if it was to tell me to shove it, and leave her be. just something to set my mind at ease! </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure the pub is the best place to talk about that..Have you ever told her how much you hurt, how you cry and are lost without her??
I have a question but you don't have to answer: are you into girls, or was it just her?

Dominae
02-12-2005, 04:06 PM
<font color="#9900FF"> i've liked girls for bout 5 years now so no it wasnt just her! she always knew i was gay too, right from the very beggining when things were fine between us!


We went out 2nite for a mates birthday it was the usual people including her, and things are still the same, i've come home crying again! /images/graemlins/frown.gif
we're going out 2moro like we ALWAYS do, so im (hopefully if i can pluck up enough courage) gunna try and meet with her earlier so that i can finally get this all off my chest and let her see how much it is affecting me.

If i dont do something about this soon then i seriously dont know whats gunna happen! i dont feel as if the road im on now is the right one, i need to get my feet back on track and sort this mess out once and for all! i just hope that she will totally understand why i have been feeling the way i have and that we can mend our broken friendship!

Thanks for all you guys help and support really means a lot to me!

Love Always
Dominae
xxx </font>

littlangel008
02-13-2005, 03:30 AM
[ QUOTE ]
we're going out 2moro like we ALWAYS do, so im (hopefully if i can pluck up enough courage) gunna try and meet with her earlier so that i can finally get this all off my chest and let her see how much it is affecting me.


[/ QUOTE ]

I guess it's a good decision! I hope everything will go fine. You can only feel better after get this all off your chest, whatever happens.

Dominae
02-13-2005, 07:50 AM
<font color="#9900FF"> Well, i did it, took me an hour and a half to actually pick up the phone and dial her number! But i eventually did it. and she answered. My initial plan was to try and meet up in person which we were going to do. But we just ended up talking on the phone instead.

And i think things have been sorted i definetly feel a lot better for doing it. we had a good 40min chat and thinks sound good so i hope they will be when i next see her. I don't expect everything to go straight back to normal, but hopefully in time we can be like we were!

She's been such a good friend to me and thats really all i want from her and i would like to be able to be the same thing for her in return.

Again i'd like to say thanks for everyones advice and opinions, muchly appreciated!

Love Always
Dominae
xxx
</font>

littlangel008
02-13-2005, 08:26 AM
Well, that sounds good for you! I'm sure things will turn better for you and your friend. She seems a understanding person. /images/graemlins/smile.gif