MaryJane
06-12-2005, 01:51 PM
Hi everybody! My friend encouraged me to post this little ficlet here that I posted on another board. I think it will give you a chuckle, at least I hope. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Disclaimer: I don't anything having to do with the show, Days of Our Lives. I just like to write stories using characters from the show and the only payment I receive is kind feedback from kind readers.
Rating: PG, with just a little harm to one of the characters at the end.
Permission to be archived at Second Chances Lumi Mega-Site and its sister sites.
Author's note: This is just a little ficlet my friend and I came up with on IM one night talking about something that some TV shows have in common right now- controlling parents. This ficlet plays out like an AA meeting but it's a totally different group of people. If you watch or know of " Spider-Man", The OC, or " Alias," then you will recognize some of the characters featured in the ficlet. Enjoy!
"Parents with Control Issues"- A ficlet
The Parents with Contol Issues or as it's often called, PWCI, meeting was gathered again this week and was welcoming their newest member, Kate Roberts.
"Hello everybody and thanks for joinng us again. I understand we have a new member with us today. Would you please introduce yourself, miss?"
Kate stands up among the small group, " Hi, everyone. My name is Kate and....I have control issues." She sits back down in her seat.
The meeting's host is the first to respond, "Thank you, Kate. Admitting it is the first step. Now, how did you come to this conclusion?"
She gets right to the point, "Well, my son's fiance and I have never gotten along. She's so wrong for him, so I tried to set something up for him to see that for himself. And it worked, but I still fear that he is still in love with her."
The meeting leader shakes his head in disappointment at her, "Now, Kate...."
One of the group members interrupts, rather enthusiastically, it's Norman Osborne aka Spider-Man's foe, "You should have just killed her. That's what I would have done."
Kate shouts back in frustation, " I tried to!"
"Well, obviously you didn't try hard enough," Norman smirks.
Mr. Host gets annoyed with him, "Mr Osborne, please wait your turn."
Like a little kid who's been reprimanded, Norman crosses his arms and sits in his chair pouting. The meeting continues on with another member, Jack Bristow, chiming in with his thoughts, "I would hardly count personal disagreements among the need for that course of action."
Kate asks, "So what would you do?"
"Eliminate the need for an argument."
The group leader has to interject, " Correct me if I'm wrong, Jack, but didn't you have your own wife killed?"
"Um.. Ex-wife. And that is irrevelivant."
"Jack, you shouldn't judge others for resorting to murder when you've done it yourself. That is what we call hypocrasy."
"She had hired a hitman to assassinate our daughter!"
Kate smiles and is all excited, "A hitman! That's it! I'll just send a hitman after Sami!"
"Now you're talking," Norman Osborne smiles, approving of the idea.
Jack is angry now, "I wasn't giving you suggestions!"
The host has to again interrupt to restore some order among the meeting, "But as a long-time attendee of PWCI, you should be setting an example, Mr. Bristow."
Jack rolls his eyes, "Why isn't Arvin here?"
"He's not a controlling parent, Jack."
"Are you kidding me? That man is the biggest control freak I know!"
"True, but that's mostly regarding your daughter, not his own."
Jack sinks down in his seat and groans. Yet another member of the group speaks up, annoyed. It's Caleb Nichols all the way from sunny California, well, Orange County aka The OC to be exact, "Why am I even here?"
************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
Mr. Host answers him, "Actually, it's your wife we're truly concerned about."
"You and half the city," retorts Caleb. Julie, his wife gives him a death glare after that remark, " What about the illegitimate daughter you had?"
Her husband shoots right back,"Should I bring up a certain video tape?" Of course, he's referring to a porn movie, 'The Porn Identity' that Julie had made back in her younger days which she had prayed would never resurface but had recently. She gasps, " You blackmailed my daughter!"
"Well, you got into a fist fight with mine!"
Norman is enjoying this. He starts rubbing his hands together and begins cackling. Jack becomes ever more annoyed, "Do you really need to laugh like that?"
"It's my thing," Norman answers back.
Kate is still focused on her latest idea, she turns to Norman, "So, would you be willing to take a contract?"
Julie sighs and rolls her eyes,"Are we still on the hitman thing?"
The leader of the group is becoming frustrated once more, "Ladies....gentlemen..."
Norman interrupts him, "Ohh no! The last time I went after a helpless girl, I got this....
He stands up and tears open his shirt to reveal a huge scar in his chest. The rest of the group reacts, "Oh God..." says Kate shocked at the sight before her.
"Gross!" Julie turns and looks away.
"I think I'm going to hurl." Julie's husband, Caleb, covers his mouth.
Mr. Host puts his hands through his hair, frustrated, "Mr. OSBORNE! How many times do I have to warn you about showing off the scar?!"
"Do you have any idea what getting a hunk of metal in the chest feels like?!"
Julie mutters under her breath,"Bet she will when Sami gets done with her...."
Caleb shushes his wife.
"I can't even go to the beach. Whenever I try, little kids start screaming," Norman continues to rant about his scar.
"Please sit down, Norman," The host is getting fed up with this nonsense.
Mr. Osborne grumples but complies and takes his seat again.
************************************************** ************************************************** ***************
Kate speaks up again, and turns to Norman, "You're impossible."
"Why couldn't Tony be here instead? Him I'd get along with," Norman thinks aloud.
"He's dead."
Norman supresses a smile and sarcastically says, "Right...dead." He takes out his cell phone which makes Jack Bristow curious,
"Who are you calling?"
"Nobody."
Norman dials Tony on speed dial..." Little do they know that us supervillains look after one another."
The group stare at him. Jack tells him, "You said that out loud."
"Said what?" Norman acts stupid.
"You more or less told us who you were calling."
Kate becomes annoyed, "Why does this old man have to be here? He's such nonsense. Hmmm... maybe I could use him."
Jack interrupts Kate, "You said THAT out loud too."
"I didn't say anything."
Caleb chimes in with an explanation, "They're a soap opera character and a comic book character...they don't have internal monologue."
"So they're just going to say everything out loud and we're the only ones who can hear them?" asks Jack Bristow.
"That's the way my grandson tells it. He's a big comic book fan."
Norman is still talking on the phone to Tony, "You know, you should just make the cameras mobile. You know, fly up to the windows and peak inside. I can help you with that...."
Jack grabs the phone from him and speaks to who is on the other end, "He'll call you back."
Julie gets an idea and turns to Jack,"Don't you work for the CIA? Can't you just, I don't know... raid the guy's castle or something?"
Jack replies,"JJ has me being fickle... I'd probably just kill him or something."
Norman interrupts Jack, "So. He'll just come back, won't he?"
"No, Norman.. that's just for comic characters. You need an evil twin in this scenario," answers Mr. Host.
Kate interjects, "Oh.. Tony has one."
Smiling, Norman says, "Then that's settled."
Jack is confused, "How will I know which one I kill?"
Kate shrugs, "Beats me....ask the writers."
Caleb Nichols covers his face, he can relate all too well to problems with the writers, "Oh... God.. the writers."
Mr Host is not believing them, "Now tell me about these "writers", he puts airquotes on the word.
"They're real I tell you!!" shouts Caleb.
"Not this again. You've claimed that these omnipotent "writers" make you do things you don't want to do."
Caleb remains faithful in his belief, "It's true! They spend half a season introducing my daughter, only to write her out of the series."
Jack chimes in, "They made me an insensitive, back-stabbing, wife-killer."
Kate joins in too, "Come on... they've got me trying to stop a storyline every single fan is rooting for. I'm worse than Tony!"
Julie also has to say something, "I'm suddenly rooting for a boy I hated last season."
Norman feels he's had it worse when it comes to the writers, "One word: Overuse. They've got me everywhere. Three books a month, without any overtime. I have to split my salary with my Ultimate counterpart. You know...the one that looks like the Hulk. I get beat up by Luke Cage, of all people! And I never get to win..EVER! it's always Spider- Man, Spider-Man... I'LL KILL THAT ANNOYING CLOWN!!!"
He punches the desk, leaving a hole.
The group's leader tells him, "Please try to contol youself, Norman!" Jack takes a different approach. He takes out his gun and shoots Norman. He falls to the ground. Everyone stares in shock.
Kate smiles, "How much do you charge?"
Jack, in a serious tone, "I'm not going to kill your daughter-in-law."
"They didn't get married."
"Yet, " replies Jack.
Kate pulls at her hair and screams, "AHHHHHH!!!"
Clearly annoyed, Julie just has to ask, "Do you have to scream like that?"
Angrily, "Oh shut up you copycat!!"
Julie scoffs, "Oh..please... you wish you were me!"
Kate glares at her, "Where's that clone of me they put on 'Smallville'? Isn't she a controlling parent too?"
Mr. Host answers her, "They're on hiatus. She'll be here next week."
************************************************** ************************************************** ***************
Jack is confused again, "Clone?"
Still on her rant, Kate continues talking, "It's so obvious too. They're even hinting she's an actual witch. You know... Salem..witch trials... it's all a big joke at my expense."
All of a sudden, Norman sits up from being shot, shocking the entire group, "Pft.. if you want clones, I can give you clones!"
Jack is puzzled, "Didn't I kill you?"
"They brought me back. I'm never gone long."
Mr. Host tries to bring the meeting back on topic, "I want to start a new discussion here. You all have horrible relationships with your children, but you seem to get along with your grandchildren. Why is that?"
Kate answers first, "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him."
Smiling, Norman proudly says, "The kid's named after me. What's not to love?"
"He's a great kid. Though he'd better give up those silly comics sooner or later," says Caleb.
Norman becomes angry at that comment, "SILLY?!"
A scared Caleb clears up the confusion, "Uh.. I meant the DC titles."
Norman grins, "Oh, that's better." He hands a bomb to Kate, "Here. Make good use of this."
Kate's eyes light up like a little kid who just got the best Christmas present ever, "This will kill Sami?" However, she holds the bomb a few seconds too long and it explodes, killing her instantly.
Norman sighs, "Some people just can't handle a villain's weapon."
The meeting's host has definitely had enough for one day, "Well, that concludes our session. See you all next week and Norman, please don't bring explosives next time."
THE END
Disclaimer: I don't anything having to do with the show, Days of Our Lives. I just like to write stories using characters from the show and the only payment I receive is kind feedback from kind readers.
Rating: PG, with just a little harm to one of the characters at the end.
Permission to be archived at Second Chances Lumi Mega-Site and its sister sites.
Author's note: This is just a little ficlet my friend and I came up with on IM one night talking about something that some TV shows have in common right now- controlling parents. This ficlet plays out like an AA meeting but it's a totally different group of people. If you watch or know of " Spider-Man", The OC, or " Alias," then you will recognize some of the characters featured in the ficlet. Enjoy!
"Parents with Control Issues"- A ficlet
The Parents with Contol Issues or as it's often called, PWCI, meeting was gathered again this week and was welcoming their newest member, Kate Roberts.
"Hello everybody and thanks for joinng us again. I understand we have a new member with us today. Would you please introduce yourself, miss?"
Kate stands up among the small group, " Hi, everyone. My name is Kate and....I have control issues." She sits back down in her seat.
The meeting's host is the first to respond, "Thank you, Kate. Admitting it is the first step. Now, how did you come to this conclusion?"
She gets right to the point, "Well, my son's fiance and I have never gotten along. She's so wrong for him, so I tried to set something up for him to see that for himself. And it worked, but I still fear that he is still in love with her."
The meeting leader shakes his head in disappointment at her, "Now, Kate...."
One of the group members interrupts, rather enthusiastically, it's Norman Osborne aka Spider-Man's foe, "You should have just killed her. That's what I would have done."
Kate shouts back in frustation, " I tried to!"
"Well, obviously you didn't try hard enough," Norman smirks.
Mr. Host gets annoyed with him, "Mr Osborne, please wait your turn."
Like a little kid who's been reprimanded, Norman crosses his arms and sits in his chair pouting. The meeting continues on with another member, Jack Bristow, chiming in with his thoughts, "I would hardly count personal disagreements among the need for that course of action."
Kate asks, "So what would you do?"
"Eliminate the need for an argument."
The group leader has to interject, " Correct me if I'm wrong, Jack, but didn't you have your own wife killed?"
"Um.. Ex-wife. And that is irrevelivant."
"Jack, you shouldn't judge others for resorting to murder when you've done it yourself. That is what we call hypocrasy."
"She had hired a hitman to assassinate our daughter!"
Kate smiles and is all excited, "A hitman! That's it! I'll just send a hitman after Sami!"
"Now you're talking," Norman Osborne smiles, approving of the idea.
Jack is angry now, "I wasn't giving you suggestions!"
The host has to again interrupt to restore some order among the meeting, "But as a long-time attendee of PWCI, you should be setting an example, Mr. Bristow."
Jack rolls his eyes, "Why isn't Arvin here?"
"He's not a controlling parent, Jack."
"Are you kidding me? That man is the biggest control freak I know!"
"True, but that's mostly regarding your daughter, not his own."
Jack sinks down in his seat and groans. Yet another member of the group speaks up, annoyed. It's Caleb Nichols all the way from sunny California, well, Orange County aka The OC to be exact, "Why am I even here?"
************************************************** ************************************************** *****************
Mr. Host answers him, "Actually, it's your wife we're truly concerned about."
"You and half the city," retorts Caleb. Julie, his wife gives him a death glare after that remark, " What about the illegitimate daughter you had?"
Her husband shoots right back,"Should I bring up a certain video tape?" Of course, he's referring to a porn movie, 'The Porn Identity' that Julie had made back in her younger days which she had prayed would never resurface but had recently. She gasps, " You blackmailed my daughter!"
"Well, you got into a fist fight with mine!"
Norman is enjoying this. He starts rubbing his hands together and begins cackling. Jack becomes ever more annoyed, "Do you really need to laugh like that?"
"It's my thing," Norman answers back.
Kate is still focused on her latest idea, she turns to Norman, "So, would you be willing to take a contract?"
Julie sighs and rolls her eyes,"Are we still on the hitman thing?"
The leader of the group is becoming frustrated once more, "Ladies....gentlemen..."
Norman interrupts him, "Ohh no! The last time I went after a helpless girl, I got this....
He stands up and tears open his shirt to reveal a huge scar in his chest. The rest of the group reacts, "Oh God..." says Kate shocked at the sight before her.
"Gross!" Julie turns and looks away.
"I think I'm going to hurl." Julie's husband, Caleb, covers his mouth.
Mr. Host puts his hands through his hair, frustrated, "Mr. OSBORNE! How many times do I have to warn you about showing off the scar?!"
"Do you have any idea what getting a hunk of metal in the chest feels like?!"
Julie mutters under her breath,"Bet she will when Sami gets done with her...."
Caleb shushes his wife.
"I can't even go to the beach. Whenever I try, little kids start screaming," Norman continues to rant about his scar.
"Please sit down, Norman," The host is getting fed up with this nonsense.
Mr. Osborne grumples but complies and takes his seat again.
************************************************** ************************************************** ***************
Kate speaks up again, and turns to Norman, "You're impossible."
"Why couldn't Tony be here instead? Him I'd get along with," Norman thinks aloud.
"He's dead."
Norman supresses a smile and sarcastically says, "Right...dead." He takes out his cell phone which makes Jack Bristow curious,
"Who are you calling?"
"Nobody."
Norman dials Tony on speed dial..." Little do they know that us supervillains look after one another."
The group stare at him. Jack tells him, "You said that out loud."
"Said what?" Norman acts stupid.
"You more or less told us who you were calling."
Kate becomes annoyed, "Why does this old man have to be here? He's such nonsense. Hmmm... maybe I could use him."
Jack interrupts Kate, "You said THAT out loud too."
"I didn't say anything."
Caleb chimes in with an explanation, "They're a soap opera character and a comic book character...they don't have internal monologue."
"So they're just going to say everything out loud and we're the only ones who can hear them?" asks Jack Bristow.
"That's the way my grandson tells it. He's a big comic book fan."
Norman is still talking on the phone to Tony, "You know, you should just make the cameras mobile. You know, fly up to the windows and peak inside. I can help you with that...."
Jack grabs the phone from him and speaks to who is on the other end, "He'll call you back."
Julie gets an idea and turns to Jack,"Don't you work for the CIA? Can't you just, I don't know... raid the guy's castle or something?"
Jack replies,"JJ has me being fickle... I'd probably just kill him or something."
Norman interrupts Jack, "So. He'll just come back, won't he?"
"No, Norman.. that's just for comic characters. You need an evil twin in this scenario," answers Mr. Host.
Kate interjects, "Oh.. Tony has one."
Smiling, Norman says, "Then that's settled."
Jack is confused, "How will I know which one I kill?"
Kate shrugs, "Beats me....ask the writers."
Caleb Nichols covers his face, he can relate all too well to problems with the writers, "Oh... God.. the writers."
Mr Host is not believing them, "Now tell me about these "writers", he puts airquotes on the word.
"They're real I tell you!!" shouts Caleb.
"Not this again. You've claimed that these omnipotent "writers" make you do things you don't want to do."
Caleb remains faithful in his belief, "It's true! They spend half a season introducing my daughter, only to write her out of the series."
Jack chimes in, "They made me an insensitive, back-stabbing, wife-killer."
Kate joins in too, "Come on... they've got me trying to stop a storyline every single fan is rooting for. I'm worse than Tony!"
Julie also has to say something, "I'm suddenly rooting for a boy I hated last season."
Norman feels he's had it worse when it comes to the writers, "One word: Overuse. They've got me everywhere. Three books a month, without any overtime. I have to split my salary with my Ultimate counterpart. You know...the one that looks like the Hulk. I get beat up by Luke Cage, of all people! And I never get to win..EVER! it's always Spider- Man, Spider-Man... I'LL KILL THAT ANNOYING CLOWN!!!"
He punches the desk, leaving a hole.
The group's leader tells him, "Please try to contol youself, Norman!" Jack takes a different approach. He takes out his gun and shoots Norman. He falls to the ground. Everyone stares in shock.
Kate smiles, "How much do you charge?"
Jack, in a serious tone, "I'm not going to kill your daughter-in-law."
"They didn't get married."
"Yet, " replies Jack.
Kate pulls at her hair and screams, "AHHHHHH!!!"
Clearly annoyed, Julie just has to ask, "Do you have to scream like that?"
Angrily, "Oh shut up you copycat!!"
Julie scoffs, "Oh..please... you wish you were me!"
Kate glares at her, "Where's that clone of me they put on 'Smallville'? Isn't she a controlling parent too?"
Mr. Host answers her, "They're on hiatus. She'll be here next week."
************************************************** ************************************************** ***************
Jack is confused again, "Clone?"
Still on her rant, Kate continues talking, "It's so obvious too. They're even hinting she's an actual witch. You know... Salem..witch trials... it's all a big joke at my expense."
All of a sudden, Norman sits up from being shot, shocking the entire group, "Pft.. if you want clones, I can give you clones!"
Jack is puzzled, "Didn't I kill you?"
"They brought me back. I'm never gone long."
Mr. Host tries to bring the meeting back on topic, "I want to start a new discussion here. You all have horrible relationships with your children, but you seem to get along with your grandchildren. Why is that?"
Kate answers first, "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him."
Smiling, Norman proudly says, "The kid's named after me. What's not to love?"
"He's a great kid. Though he'd better give up those silly comics sooner or later," says Caleb.
Norman becomes angry at that comment, "SILLY?!"
A scared Caleb clears up the confusion, "Uh.. I meant the DC titles."
Norman grins, "Oh, that's better." He hands a bomb to Kate, "Here. Make good use of this."
Kate's eyes light up like a little kid who just got the best Christmas present ever, "This will kill Sami?" However, she holds the bomb a few seconds too long and it explodes, killing her instantly.
Norman sighs, "Some people just can't handle a villain's weapon."
The meeting's host has definitely had enough for one day, "Well, that concludes our session. See you all next week and Norman, please don't bring explosives next time."
THE END