Mander
06-14-2005, 06:25 PM
I wrote this story while Sami was in the hospital in June 03 after falling through Tony's french doors. She was mute. Imagine that!
Shattered
The late morning sun slanted in the window and shrouded the rooms’ occupant in a golden glow. He stood in the doorway and silently watched her. Over the past month, he had spent a lot of time just staring at her. The blond hair, that had once been so bright and shone like sunshine, was now dull and lifeless. It hung in limp tangles around her head, making her look even more listless. The once creamy skin was pale and deathly white. Her blue eyes were flat and vacant. They had been since the moment she had awakened from her coma. Once they had reminded him of sapphires, but now the glimmer had dulled. She looked out the window near her bed and silently watched as the city came to life. It continued to live without her. Little did she know, that one occupant of that city had ceased to live from the moment she had crashed through the plait glass doors of the Dimera Mansion.
One could only imagine what was going on in her mind. A mind so full of twists and turns, yet it harbored so many secrets. Hers were secrets that not even she had the ability to share anymore. He had once prided himself on being able to navigate the maze of her mind, but now he had no idea what she must be thinking. This was a side of her that he'd never seen before. It was an inanimate side. Her initial expressions of protest to his visits were disappearing as well. She chose to simply ignore him and stare blankly at the wall.
The doctors said that she was depressed over her paralysis. She was adjusting to not being able to speak. He knew differently. He knew her. Sami had been paralyzed once before, but it had been nothing like this. She had maintained her mobility and independence surprisingly well. Even the lack of her voice couldn't have evoked this deep depression. Her eyes had always told him everything that he needed to know. She had begun to withdraw from reality and was disappearing deep inside herself. He'd seen her do that before. She had done it after she was raped. It had occurred when she suffered from Bulimia. He'd seen it then and he saw it now. Sami Brady had given up on life.
Almost as if sensing his presence, she turned her head towards him. Her blue eyes looked at him, critically. It was almost as if she had expected him. She probably had been, he realized. He did come to see her at the same time everyday. Mostly it was to avoid her family. Lucas shifted uncomfortably and offered her half of a smile. "Morning."
Sami didn't make any attempt to respond. He hadn't expected her to. Piercing blue eyes regarded him suspiciously as he came closer. What? Are you back, her face asked. They narrowed slightly as she dropped her gaze to study the gift bag in his hand. I don't trust you, her eyes said. What are you up to?
Lucas lifted the bag for her perusal. "Curious about what's in the bag, huh?” He smirked. “Don't worry, Sami. It's not a weapon." He smiled wider and pointed his finger at her. "But it is a surprise."
Her eyes rose to his face skeptically and he chuckled. It was deep and soft. It reminded her of the old days. For just a moment, he sounded like an old friend, and not the man that she knew they both held responsible for her condition.
"Still don't believe me, do you?" he asked, coming closer. "Care if I sit down?" She scowled in response, but he merely smiled. "Of course you do."
Nonchalantly, he sat down anyway. Damn you, her expression answered.
"You need to quit making those expressions," he commented. "You're face will stick that way."
Sami's eyes widened in surprise and she lifted her hand, her middle finger extended.
He chuckled. "Thank God for gestures, huh? Don't worry, Sami. You've cussed me out so many times that I know exactly what you're thinking." He smirked and leaned back in the chair.
His dark eyes pierced her and he began to speak. "God damn you, Lucas. Who the hell do you think you are? Get out of my room, you son of a *****. No good bastard . . . Drunken lush!" He laughed again at the look on her face and reached out to tweak her nose. "Good impression. Don't you think?"
Sami startled at his accurate guess as to just what she had been thinking. The minute he touched her nose; however, a spark filled her. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from her face. The feel of his warm arm on her hand alarmed her. Suddenly, a familiar heat had spread through her body. Her eyes met his and then they locked into place. His eyes seemed so warm and concerned, yet at the same time they laughed. They weren't making fun of her. In fact, they were teasing and mischievous. There was no hint of malice in them, only a tender affection.
For a moment, she was lost in her memories. Long lost memories of being in his arms and of crying out her pain. They were long forgotten memories of comfort and safety. Had she ever really felt that safe again? Slowly, her eyes went to the arm that she held and then she bitterly slung it back at him.
"Feisty. That's a good sign. You'll be up and out of that bed in no time," he taunted.
Like you give a damn, Lucas Roberts! She narrowed her eyes again and then looked back to the tote bag.
"You’re still wondering what's in that bag, aren't you?" he asked.
Her eyes instantly moved away from it and focused across the room. I don't want anything from you! She turned her head so sharply, that her hair flew back behind her shoulder. Instantly, his eyes fell on the bandage that covered her throat. Tiny cuts and scars were scattered around her neck and collarbone, but the main cut was still covered. That was the cut that had done the damage. His stomach turned as he thought back to the accident. He saw her, once again covered in blood.
Sami felt his hot gaze on her. She could always feel his eyes, even if it was from across the room. He had the most intense eyes . . . Slowly, she turned to look back at him. She saw him staring at her throat and automatically reached up to pull her hair back around her shoulders. Normally, she was fastidious about her hair but now she needed it to be frizzy. The further it stuck out the better it was to shield her neck. She needed it to shield her scars from view.
He saw the pain flash in her eyes, as she realized that he was staring. I don't want pity. I especially don't want yours. He could hear it as loudly as if she'd spoken it.
"It's not that bad, you know?"
She looked at him and furrowed her brows in question.
"Having scars . . ." He turned his arm over and revealed a long thin scar. "You kinda learn to live with them."
Her eyes looked at the scar on his arm. If you didn't know that it was there, it was hard to spot. She'd certainly never noticed it before. Not that she'd ever been inclined to look. Silently, she wondered if he had more.
"That one's not real bad," he said. "I have some on my legs that are real good. That's where
I was burned the worst, you know."
No, she hadn't known. She hadn't cared to ever know. Now, she was looking at him closely. Suddenly, she noticed a small scar over his left eyebrow and one on the side of his neck.
They were faint. She followed the scar on his neck up and behind his ear where it vanished into his hairline. He saw the direction of her gaze and placed a couple fingers over it. It was obvious that she’d never taken notice of his scars before. "Skin graphs and plastic surgery," he commented. "I'm sure they could hide yours too."
Her fingers slowly rose up to touch the bandage on her neck. Damn him. She didn't want his sympathy. She didn't want him to see her pain.
"You're still just as beautiful as you always were, Sami . . ." Gently, he brushed her hair to the side and her scar was revealed again. She stared at him a moment and then angrily jerked her head away. Her hair moved back over her neck again. He stopped his hand in mid air and shrugged. "You've every right to hate me. I don't blame you." He saw the sudden glow in her eyes. "That doesn't mean that I'm going away."
She frowned and rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms over her chest. Her nose wrinkled slightly and he couldn't help but smile. Her actions were so much more visible without her voice to overpower them. She was kind of cute when she scrunched her nose up.
Lucas silently bent to pick up the bag and then looked at her closely. Her eyes were silently following his movements and her muscles tensed slightly. He wasn't quite sure what she expected him to pull out of it. "Relax, Sami. It's from Will. I didn't pick out any of it. I did buy it. It's the thought that counts, right?" Her eyes flitted to the bag and then back to his face. He had seen her expression soften the minute he'd mentioned their son.
Will? Her lips moved, but no sound was emitted. It broke his heart. Her eyes suddenly cleared and a small smile passed her face. If only he could evoke the same change in her that their son did. It didn't seem all that long ago that he could make her smile and laugh with a corny joke . . . but then at the same time it felt like a millennium ago. "He's still pretty upset that they won't let him visit."
Her eyes looked at him mournfully. She motioned to her eye, then put her fist over her heart, and mouthed Will.
"I know you do, Sami. I tell him that you do every day." Hesitantly, he put a hand on her thigh. "He loves you too."
Her eyes moved to his hand and soft tears pricked at the corners. He frowned and then slowly drew his hand away. He'd forgotten. She couldn't even feel his hand touch her. She discreetly wiped the tears and then looked back at the bag in his lap.
"So do you want to know what goodies Will picked out last night?"
Sami eyed him carefully and then nodded. She reached for the bag and he pulled it away.
"Ah! I'll hold it."
She scowled and a pout passed her face.
"Now put that lip away!" he said. "You'll see soon enough." He smirked as he opened the tote and began digging inside. "Besides, I'm the one who hauled him all over town. I should get to have some fun too."
She scowled at him and then pointed at the bag.
He snickered. "Okay. I'll stop teasing." He reached into the bag and pulled out the first item. "Ah. Now this, he said, Mom absolutely can't live without." He held up a copy of the latest Vogue Magazine. "Will wanted to make sure you keep up with the latest fashions."
Sami's mouth smiled and she looked as if she were laughing. Indeed, her eyes were filled with amusement.
Next, he pulled out a book. "A dripping romance novel for your perusal . . ." Sami accepted it and smiled wider, as he held out a small box of tissues. "Will said that you get all weepy and wanted you to be able to blow your nose." He grinned. “According to Will, hospital tissues are murder and only puffs plus will do. That way, you won’t look like Rudolph.”
Again, she looked as if she were laughing. Her mouth curled into a smile and her eyes crinkled slightly.
He grinned and pulled out a crossword puzzle. "Oh, yes. He said you knew so many big words that you'd probably enjoy this one . . ."
She piled it on her lap and looked back expectantly. Lucas smiled. At least she was cheering up. He looked in the bag again and pretended to study its’ contents. Her hand reached out and impatiently, smacked his arm. “Alright,” he teased. This time he pulled out a small, brown, teddy bear. "To keep you company," he said.
Suddenly, her expression changed and she reached out to take it in both hands. Tenderly, she drew it to her chest. Her chin came to rest on the fuzzy, brown head and she smiled. Sami looked very much like a little girl. He saw the tears in her eyes and melted.
"Will said that you could hug the bear and think of him." Sami looked at his face, while tears fell down her cheeks. He couldn't restrain himself and his hand gently reached out to wipe them away. This time, she didn't pull away from his touch. "Will misses you so much, Sami. So very much . . ."
His thumb lightly brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes, momentarily losing herself to his caress. She remembered the way it used to be. The way he would hold her and whisper words of encouragement. The way he would wipe her tears away. The many times he saved her life. She remembered him comforting her the last time she had been paralyzed and how much he had helped her with her baby. He hadn't even known then. Why had she ever lied? She missed him in so many ways and if she let herself, she could almost feel a deep numbing ache in her heart. It pulled her down into a long buried tear that had slowly begun to widen into a gash. It was hollow and dark inside but light was reluctantly filtering in.
Lucas watched her face. Her eyes were closed and tears were slipping faster down her cheeks. His heart ached as he looked at the cuts and abrasions over her forehead and cheeks. The red face and tears only intensified them. Without being completely sure why, he reached out and took her hand. Cautiously, her eyes opened and he found himself gazing into her flooded eyes. She looked back at him, for the moment, utterly bewildered. He saw the internal war going on inside of her. Those sapphire blue orbs were like a window into her soul. Terror, confusion, and uncertainty ran rapid behind her eyes. “Sami?” he whispered.
Suddenly, her eyes cleared and she drew away from his touch. Her hand pulled away from his. Her lower lip quivered as she shook her head, several more tears falling before she finally turned away again.
His hand withdrew and he sighed. For just a moment, he’d seen her guard go down. Just a little. It had been a small crack in the wall of her fortress but it had been there. For just a minute, she had considered letting him in. Then, just as quickly as it opened, the crack mended again. Her eyes hardened once more and she looked back at him. Her chin lifted in an attempt to hide the moment of weakness, but it was too late. He had already seen it.
After a moment, she turned her eyes back to him and pointed at the bag. He allowed a small smirk. "You just can't handle me knowing what's in here and you not. Can you?"
She arched her brow and pointed again, jabbing her finger angrily into the air.
"Yeah, I know," he said. He opened the bag again and pulled out a portable CD player, along with several CD’s. "Now if you don't like these it's Will's fault. He picked them all out."
She watched him pile the CD’s and Discman onto the table. She was somewhat surprised at the amount of money that he must have spent on her even if it was at the request of their son.
"Ah . . ." Lucas pulled out a single white rose. The stem rested in a small plastic water holder and the flower was bloomed out beautifully. "For you," he said, holding it out.
She smiled and accepted the rose, smelled it, then touched the soft petals with her finger. "You like that, huh?"
She nodded, the smile still on her face. Sami had always loved receiving roses. Even as a child her father had always made sure she would get a bright red rose for her birthday. Come to think of it, Will didn't know that. Slowly, it dawned on her and she turned her eyes to his face. Damn you!
Instantly, he saw the realization cross her face. "Well? Would you have enjoyed it as much if I had told you it was from me?"
She scowled. He'd purposely watched her enjoy the flower, when all the while he knew that it was from him. Jerk!
"You know . . . I remember giving you a white rose once before." He watched her expression soften and then harden, almost immediately. It wasn't a change that would have been readily noticeable to just anyone. However, after ten years of studying her expressions, he could spot the shift in an instant.
Sami rolled her eyes and her full lips turned into a scowl. Whatever, Lucas!
"I see you remember too," he replied. "That damn kiddie dance you blackmailed me into taking you to."
It was the Spring Fling, you idiot!
He stared at her a moment and then gently reached out, allowing a bit of her hair to slip through his fingers. "You were very pretty that night, Sami. You've always been pretty."
She jerked her head away, her eyes looking at him suspiciously. Flattery will get you nowhere!
"You've always reminded me of a white rose," he commented. "So delicate and beautiful on the outside but if you get to close . . ." He smiled teasingly. "Nothing but thorns."
You bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?!
He saw her face turning red. "Oh, calm down! I was only joking." Her eyes burned and he smiled. "I'm sorry, okay?"
No, it's not okay, she groused.
"So do you want to see what the extra special surprise is?" he asked.
Her eyes sized him up carefully. Extra special surprise, huh? What is it? A knife for my back?
"Now stop looking at me that way, Samantha Gene. I'm not going to do anything to you. Haven't you figured that out yet?"
Right. You're just biding your time! Sami made a face and crossed her arms over her chest indignantly.
"Come on now. Stop that!" he exclaimed. "Besides, I know you'll like this present." She tried to look away, but curiosity got the better of her. She glanced over as he slid a large box out of the tote. Sami looked, skeptically, at the box in his hands. "Now I know that these are your favorite . . ."
He held the box under her nose but she scowled darkly and then shoved it away. Her arms went over her chest and she lifted her chin defiantly.
Lucas smirked. "What? Do you think I did something to them?"
She arched a brow at him incredulously. You? Poison my food? Perish the thought!
He chuckled as if he had heard her speaking. "Yeah, I know. I swear I didn't touch it. No icky grubs replacing the cherries. No mud in place of the cream. The chocolate’s really chocolate." He held up the box. "It's even still in the wrapper!"
Sami rolled her eyes. That meant nothing. This was the man who'd taught her the art of steaming open Austin's mail.
"Alright," he said. "I'll prove it to you." She watched as he tugged off the plastic wrap, wadded it into a ball, and then dropped it into the trashcan. Soon, the lid was open and she saw the plump chocolate balls. "Pick one," he said, holding out the box.
She furrowed her brows and shook her head, emphatically.
"I'm going to eat it, Sami. I'll prove that I didn't do anything to it. If you pick it, then you’ll know that it's not a trick."
She still looked skeptical and he shrugged. "Hey, not my problem. You're the one who likes them." He moved to put the box back on the table but she quickly reached out and snatched one up. He chuckled. "I knew you couldn't resist."
Her eyes went to the candy in her hand and then back to him. "Yeah, alright." He took it from her, opened his mouth and dropped it in. He smirked wider as he chewed. "See. Nothing wrong with it." A glint flashed in her eyes and he shook his head. "Of course, I'm sure you'd like to have seen me keel over onto the floor."
Sami suddenly looked like the cat that had eaten the canary. Would you?!
He saw the look in her eyes and laughed. "Sorry, Baby. Not today," he teased, loving the way she bristled at the affectionate term. With the most charming smile that he could muster, he offered the box again. "Now, do you want one?"
She looked at him and then down into the box again. She seemed to be pondering if she should trust him.
He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sami. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to poison you in the hospital? How many people saw me come in here? Besides, I just ate one." She narrowed her eyes at him and he shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'm sure the candy stripers will be by with some nice, rock-hard gingersnaps and warm milk later . . ."
Lucas started to put the box back but she grabbed his wrist. He looked at her and paused with the box in front of her. "Change your mind?"
She glared at him harshly but then grabbed one of the cherries out of the box. She studied it a moment and then popped it into her mouth with a satisfied grin.
He shook his head and laughed. "Ms. Paranoid."
Her eyes looked up at him. Do you blame me?
To her complete surprise, he answered her. For a crazy moment, she wondered if he could read her mind. “I don’t suppose I do,” he whispered. His voice almost sounded sorrowful.
She stared at him in surprise and he managed to give her a weary smile before glancing at his watch. "Well, I know you're going to be sorely disappointed but I need to get out of here. I have a meeting to get to."
For the first time since he'd arrived, Sami smiled directly at him and waved her fingers.
He saw the sarcasm in her gesture and grinned. "Now don't go all teary on me, Darling.
You know I have to leave."
Her eyes narrowed as he said the word, Darling and her smile turned into a deep scowl. This time, there was something different in her glare. It didn't seem genuine. It almost seemed to be forced. Perhaps she enjoyed his visits more than she cared to admit. At the very least, he treated her normally.
He'd seen how her parents and family treated her. Everyone stared at her in pity and told her to rest. They wouldn't let her exert herself in anyway. They wouldn't even allow her to attempt to communicate, instead busying themselves with telling her about how sorry they were for her.
He gently mussed her hair. This earned him another Sami Brady scowl as she reached up and pushed his hand away. "I'll tell Will you said hello," he offered. He paused and looked at her closely, remembering her gestures earlier. "And that you said you loved him."
A faint smile passed her face and she glanced at the framed picture of Will he had brought her the week before. Then, just as suddenly her face fell and she seemed to sigh. She looked back to the brown teddy bear at her side and pulled it to her chest. Once again, Lucas felt his heart break for her. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. He found himself looking at the girl that he'd helped so often as a child and not the strong woman she had become.
Lucas saw a young girl struggling through Bulimia. He saw a young girl who had just been raped. There wasn't even a hint of the vindictive ***** that he'd come to know the past few years. Suddenly, she just seemed lost and alone. In that moment, he realized something with stunning clarity. All these years, he'd refused to see it but all at once it hit him. Deep inside herself, Sami was still that lost little girl. She always had been.
As if his arm had a mind of its' own, it reached out and he cupped her chin. Slowly, he pulled her face up to his, seeing the tears shimmering in her eyes. Her eyes looked back uncertainly but if he looked deeper, he saw the fear there as well. Quietly, he sat down on the bed, his hand moving from her chin. Sami hadn’t moved but her eyes told him everything. They were clear and for the first time in years, he saw the vulnerability that lay behind her blue irises. Her soul was bared for him and he slowly reached out to pull her into his arms.
Sami saw the sincerity in his eyes. For the first time, she allowed herself to see the strong resemblance between him and her son. His eyes gazed at her, with all the innocence of their little boy. Something stirred deep within her. She could see it stir in his eyes as well. Without a word, he reached out and drew her into an embrace. Her first instinct was to jerk away but the feel of his arms around her quickly overtook the feeling. His were the only arms that felt genuine. Her family barely hugged her and when they did it felt forced. This was so different. Years of friendship and animosity flew through her head in a matter of seconds. In the end, she realized that this was the first real comfort she had felt since the accident. Silently, she laid her head on his shoulder. Tears fell down her cheeks and slowly, her arms went around his torso.
Lucas could scarcely believe that she hadn't pulled away. He wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to embrace her to begin with. Lord, help him because it felt so right. It was so familiar. It was so nice. He was even more shocked when he felt her head come to rest on his shoulder and her arms slipped around him. Hot tears slipped from her cheeks and through the material of his shirt. He turned his head slightly, pressed a soft kiss into her hair, and then buried his face into the golden locks. "It's going to be okay now," he whispered. "I promise."
Sami still didn't move, but her fingers grasped the back of his shirt, as if to convince herself that he was really there. She didn't know what was happening or how they had found themselves in this ludicrous situation, but the way she felt, she wasn’t going to question it. His soft words warmed her and she noted the slight crack in his voice as he spoke. His voice was soft and husky, just inches from her ear. His breath brushed gently against her hair. She would have sighed if she could.
He wished he could hold her forever but he had to go to that meeting. The Horton
Foundation was important but dammit . . . what a time for a meeting. After six years, he finally had her in his arms again. Reluctantly, he drew back and found himself looking into her tear stained face. Several tears had fallen from his eyes as well but he didn't move to wipe them. Instead, he wiped hers, using the pad of his thumb beneath each eye. "Everything will be okay now, Sami. You'll see."
Somehow, she found herself believing him. He had held her, wiped her tears and reassured her. Every instinct she had was screaming at her. What was she thinking? How could she trust him? Why had she let him even touch her. All of her instincts shouted at her but one. Her heart wouldn't let go of his sincerity. Something had changed. She nodded her head in response, her heart in her throat.
He stared at her a moment longer and then glanced at the table beside the bed. The contents of the tote bag spread across it. "You've uh . . . got plenty to keep you busy for awhile?"
Again she nodded, her arms pulling the teddy bear closer.
"Good deal," he said. Quickly, he glanced at his watch again and silently cursed. "I've got to get out of here or I'll be late."
Sami nodded again, watching him stand. He gestured at the box of chocolate covered cherries on the table. "Save me one, huh?"
She smiled faintly, again nodding her head, this time mouthing a word. Okay. Then, she held up a single finger.
Slowly, he backed towards the door but his eyes still bore into her. “That’s right. Just one. The rest are for you.” He was so tempted to blow off the meeting but he knew he couldn't. "Bye," he said softly, pulling the door open with his left hand.
Her eyes met his and she slowly waved. Good-bye, she mouthed.
The door closed behind him with a soft click. Sami sat for a minute and stared at the door. Part of her hoped he would return but he didn't. She was alone again but for some odd reason, she didn't feel alone. In fact, she felt less alone than she had in years. She smiled slightly and reached for the CD's that were piled on the table. She picked them up and began looking through them. She noticed a few of her favorite groups and smiled. Will was growing up so fast. It touched her that he knew some of her favorite artists.
She laid them aside, one by one, until finally she came to the last CD. At first, she startled and then a wide smile crossed her face at the subtle reminder. Will definitely hadn't picked out this CD. A tall, slender, blond graced the cover. She was looking back over her shoulder, a coy smile on her lips. Across the bottom, in golden letters, was a single word. Cherish. Yes. She remembered too.
Shattered is © Amanda. Sami, Lucas, Will, and the storyline premise are © Days of Our Lives and used without permission. Do not use this story or copy it without permission.
Shattered
The late morning sun slanted in the window and shrouded the rooms’ occupant in a golden glow. He stood in the doorway and silently watched her. Over the past month, he had spent a lot of time just staring at her. The blond hair, that had once been so bright and shone like sunshine, was now dull and lifeless. It hung in limp tangles around her head, making her look even more listless. The once creamy skin was pale and deathly white. Her blue eyes were flat and vacant. They had been since the moment she had awakened from her coma. Once they had reminded him of sapphires, but now the glimmer had dulled. She looked out the window near her bed and silently watched as the city came to life. It continued to live without her. Little did she know, that one occupant of that city had ceased to live from the moment she had crashed through the plait glass doors of the Dimera Mansion.
One could only imagine what was going on in her mind. A mind so full of twists and turns, yet it harbored so many secrets. Hers were secrets that not even she had the ability to share anymore. He had once prided himself on being able to navigate the maze of her mind, but now he had no idea what she must be thinking. This was a side of her that he'd never seen before. It was an inanimate side. Her initial expressions of protest to his visits were disappearing as well. She chose to simply ignore him and stare blankly at the wall.
The doctors said that she was depressed over her paralysis. She was adjusting to not being able to speak. He knew differently. He knew her. Sami had been paralyzed once before, but it had been nothing like this. She had maintained her mobility and independence surprisingly well. Even the lack of her voice couldn't have evoked this deep depression. Her eyes had always told him everything that he needed to know. She had begun to withdraw from reality and was disappearing deep inside herself. He'd seen her do that before. She had done it after she was raped. It had occurred when she suffered from Bulimia. He'd seen it then and he saw it now. Sami Brady had given up on life.
Almost as if sensing his presence, she turned her head towards him. Her blue eyes looked at him, critically. It was almost as if she had expected him. She probably had been, he realized. He did come to see her at the same time everyday. Mostly it was to avoid her family. Lucas shifted uncomfortably and offered her half of a smile. "Morning."
Sami didn't make any attempt to respond. He hadn't expected her to. Piercing blue eyes regarded him suspiciously as he came closer. What? Are you back, her face asked. They narrowed slightly as she dropped her gaze to study the gift bag in his hand. I don't trust you, her eyes said. What are you up to?
Lucas lifted the bag for her perusal. "Curious about what's in the bag, huh?” He smirked. “Don't worry, Sami. It's not a weapon." He smiled wider and pointed his finger at her. "But it is a surprise."
Her eyes rose to his face skeptically and he chuckled. It was deep and soft. It reminded her of the old days. For just a moment, he sounded like an old friend, and not the man that she knew they both held responsible for her condition.
"Still don't believe me, do you?" he asked, coming closer. "Care if I sit down?" She scowled in response, but he merely smiled. "Of course you do."
Nonchalantly, he sat down anyway. Damn you, her expression answered.
"You need to quit making those expressions," he commented. "You're face will stick that way."
Sami's eyes widened in surprise and she lifted her hand, her middle finger extended.
He chuckled. "Thank God for gestures, huh? Don't worry, Sami. You've cussed me out so many times that I know exactly what you're thinking." He smirked and leaned back in the chair.
His dark eyes pierced her and he began to speak. "God damn you, Lucas. Who the hell do you think you are? Get out of my room, you son of a *****. No good bastard . . . Drunken lush!" He laughed again at the look on her face and reached out to tweak her nose. "Good impression. Don't you think?"
Sami startled at his accurate guess as to just what she had been thinking. The minute he touched her nose; however, a spark filled her. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from her face. The feel of his warm arm on her hand alarmed her. Suddenly, a familiar heat had spread through her body. Her eyes met his and then they locked into place. His eyes seemed so warm and concerned, yet at the same time they laughed. They weren't making fun of her. In fact, they were teasing and mischievous. There was no hint of malice in them, only a tender affection.
For a moment, she was lost in her memories. Long lost memories of being in his arms and of crying out her pain. They were long forgotten memories of comfort and safety. Had she ever really felt that safe again? Slowly, her eyes went to the arm that she held and then she bitterly slung it back at him.
"Feisty. That's a good sign. You'll be up and out of that bed in no time," he taunted.
Like you give a damn, Lucas Roberts! She narrowed her eyes again and then looked back to the tote bag.
"You’re still wondering what's in that bag, aren't you?" he asked.
Her eyes instantly moved away from it and focused across the room. I don't want anything from you! She turned her head so sharply, that her hair flew back behind her shoulder. Instantly, his eyes fell on the bandage that covered her throat. Tiny cuts and scars were scattered around her neck and collarbone, but the main cut was still covered. That was the cut that had done the damage. His stomach turned as he thought back to the accident. He saw her, once again covered in blood.
Sami felt his hot gaze on her. She could always feel his eyes, even if it was from across the room. He had the most intense eyes . . . Slowly, she turned to look back at him. She saw him staring at her throat and automatically reached up to pull her hair back around her shoulders. Normally, she was fastidious about her hair but now she needed it to be frizzy. The further it stuck out the better it was to shield her neck. She needed it to shield her scars from view.
He saw the pain flash in her eyes, as she realized that he was staring. I don't want pity. I especially don't want yours. He could hear it as loudly as if she'd spoken it.
"It's not that bad, you know?"
She looked at him and furrowed her brows in question.
"Having scars . . ." He turned his arm over and revealed a long thin scar. "You kinda learn to live with them."
Her eyes looked at the scar on his arm. If you didn't know that it was there, it was hard to spot. She'd certainly never noticed it before. Not that she'd ever been inclined to look. Silently, she wondered if he had more.
"That one's not real bad," he said. "I have some on my legs that are real good. That's where
I was burned the worst, you know."
No, she hadn't known. She hadn't cared to ever know. Now, she was looking at him closely. Suddenly, she noticed a small scar over his left eyebrow and one on the side of his neck.
They were faint. She followed the scar on his neck up and behind his ear where it vanished into his hairline. He saw the direction of her gaze and placed a couple fingers over it. It was obvious that she’d never taken notice of his scars before. "Skin graphs and plastic surgery," he commented. "I'm sure they could hide yours too."
Her fingers slowly rose up to touch the bandage on her neck. Damn him. She didn't want his sympathy. She didn't want him to see her pain.
"You're still just as beautiful as you always were, Sami . . ." Gently, he brushed her hair to the side and her scar was revealed again. She stared at him a moment and then angrily jerked her head away. Her hair moved back over her neck again. He stopped his hand in mid air and shrugged. "You've every right to hate me. I don't blame you." He saw the sudden glow in her eyes. "That doesn't mean that I'm going away."
She frowned and rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms over her chest. Her nose wrinkled slightly and he couldn't help but smile. Her actions were so much more visible without her voice to overpower them. She was kind of cute when she scrunched her nose up.
Lucas silently bent to pick up the bag and then looked at her closely. Her eyes were silently following his movements and her muscles tensed slightly. He wasn't quite sure what she expected him to pull out of it. "Relax, Sami. It's from Will. I didn't pick out any of it. I did buy it. It's the thought that counts, right?" Her eyes flitted to the bag and then back to his face. He had seen her expression soften the minute he'd mentioned their son.
Will? Her lips moved, but no sound was emitted. It broke his heart. Her eyes suddenly cleared and a small smile passed her face. If only he could evoke the same change in her that their son did. It didn't seem all that long ago that he could make her smile and laugh with a corny joke . . . but then at the same time it felt like a millennium ago. "He's still pretty upset that they won't let him visit."
Her eyes looked at him mournfully. She motioned to her eye, then put her fist over her heart, and mouthed Will.
"I know you do, Sami. I tell him that you do every day." Hesitantly, he put a hand on her thigh. "He loves you too."
Her eyes moved to his hand and soft tears pricked at the corners. He frowned and then slowly drew his hand away. He'd forgotten. She couldn't even feel his hand touch her. She discreetly wiped the tears and then looked back at the bag in his lap.
"So do you want to know what goodies Will picked out last night?"
Sami eyed him carefully and then nodded. She reached for the bag and he pulled it away.
"Ah! I'll hold it."
She scowled and a pout passed her face.
"Now put that lip away!" he said. "You'll see soon enough." He smirked as he opened the tote and began digging inside. "Besides, I'm the one who hauled him all over town. I should get to have some fun too."
She scowled at him and then pointed at the bag.
He snickered. "Okay. I'll stop teasing." He reached into the bag and pulled out the first item. "Ah. Now this, he said, Mom absolutely can't live without." He held up a copy of the latest Vogue Magazine. "Will wanted to make sure you keep up with the latest fashions."
Sami's mouth smiled and she looked as if she were laughing. Indeed, her eyes were filled with amusement.
Next, he pulled out a book. "A dripping romance novel for your perusal . . ." Sami accepted it and smiled wider, as he held out a small box of tissues. "Will said that you get all weepy and wanted you to be able to blow your nose." He grinned. “According to Will, hospital tissues are murder and only puffs plus will do. That way, you won’t look like Rudolph.”
Again, she looked as if she were laughing. Her mouth curled into a smile and her eyes crinkled slightly.
He grinned and pulled out a crossword puzzle. "Oh, yes. He said you knew so many big words that you'd probably enjoy this one . . ."
She piled it on her lap and looked back expectantly. Lucas smiled. At least she was cheering up. He looked in the bag again and pretended to study its’ contents. Her hand reached out and impatiently, smacked his arm. “Alright,” he teased. This time he pulled out a small, brown, teddy bear. "To keep you company," he said.
Suddenly, her expression changed and she reached out to take it in both hands. Tenderly, she drew it to her chest. Her chin came to rest on the fuzzy, brown head and she smiled. Sami looked very much like a little girl. He saw the tears in her eyes and melted.
"Will said that you could hug the bear and think of him." Sami looked at his face, while tears fell down her cheeks. He couldn't restrain himself and his hand gently reached out to wipe them away. This time, she didn't pull away from his touch. "Will misses you so much, Sami. So very much . . ."
His thumb lightly brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes, momentarily losing herself to his caress. She remembered the way it used to be. The way he would hold her and whisper words of encouragement. The way he would wipe her tears away. The many times he saved her life. She remembered him comforting her the last time she had been paralyzed and how much he had helped her with her baby. He hadn't even known then. Why had she ever lied? She missed him in so many ways and if she let herself, she could almost feel a deep numbing ache in her heart. It pulled her down into a long buried tear that had slowly begun to widen into a gash. It was hollow and dark inside but light was reluctantly filtering in.
Lucas watched her face. Her eyes were closed and tears were slipping faster down her cheeks. His heart ached as he looked at the cuts and abrasions over her forehead and cheeks. The red face and tears only intensified them. Without being completely sure why, he reached out and took her hand. Cautiously, her eyes opened and he found himself gazing into her flooded eyes. She looked back at him, for the moment, utterly bewildered. He saw the internal war going on inside of her. Those sapphire blue orbs were like a window into her soul. Terror, confusion, and uncertainty ran rapid behind her eyes. “Sami?” he whispered.
Suddenly, her eyes cleared and she drew away from his touch. Her hand pulled away from his. Her lower lip quivered as she shook her head, several more tears falling before she finally turned away again.
His hand withdrew and he sighed. For just a moment, he’d seen her guard go down. Just a little. It had been a small crack in the wall of her fortress but it had been there. For just a minute, she had considered letting him in. Then, just as quickly as it opened, the crack mended again. Her eyes hardened once more and she looked back at him. Her chin lifted in an attempt to hide the moment of weakness, but it was too late. He had already seen it.
After a moment, she turned her eyes back to him and pointed at the bag. He allowed a small smirk. "You just can't handle me knowing what's in here and you not. Can you?"
She arched her brow and pointed again, jabbing her finger angrily into the air.
"Yeah, I know," he said. He opened the bag again and pulled out a portable CD player, along with several CD’s. "Now if you don't like these it's Will's fault. He picked them all out."
She watched him pile the CD’s and Discman onto the table. She was somewhat surprised at the amount of money that he must have spent on her even if it was at the request of their son.
"Ah . . ." Lucas pulled out a single white rose. The stem rested in a small plastic water holder and the flower was bloomed out beautifully. "For you," he said, holding it out.
She smiled and accepted the rose, smelled it, then touched the soft petals with her finger. "You like that, huh?"
She nodded, the smile still on her face. Sami had always loved receiving roses. Even as a child her father had always made sure she would get a bright red rose for her birthday. Come to think of it, Will didn't know that. Slowly, it dawned on her and she turned her eyes to his face. Damn you!
Instantly, he saw the realization cross her face. "Well? Would you have enjoyed it as much if I had told you it was from me?"
She scowled. He'd purposely watched her enjoy the flower, when all the while he knew that it was from him. Jerk!
"You know . . . I remember giving you a white rose once before." He watched her expression soften and then harden, almost immediately. It wasn't a change that would have been readily noticeable to just anyone. However, after ten years of studying her expressions, he could spot the shift in an instant.
Sami rolled her eyes and her full lips turned into a scowl. Whatever, Lucas!
"I see you remember too," he replied. "That damn kiddie dance you blackmailed me into taking you to."
It was the Spring Fling, you idiot!
He stared at her a moment and then gently reached out, allowing a bit of her hair to slip through his fingers. "You were very pretty that night, Sami. You've always been pretty."
She jerked her head away, her eyes looking at him suspiciously. Flattery will get you nowhere!
"You've always reminded me of a white rose," he commented. "So delicate and beautiful on the outside but if you get to close . . ." He smiled teasingly. "Nothing but thorns."
You bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?!
He saw her face turning red. "Oh, calm down! I was only joking." Her eyes burned and he smiled. "I'm sorry, okay?"
No, it's not okay, she groused.
"So do you want to see what the extra special surprise is?" he asked.
Her eyes sized him up carefully. Extra special surprise, huh? What is it? A knife for my back?
"Now stop looking at me that way, Samantha Gene. I'm not going to do anything to you. Haven't you figured that out yet?"
Right. You're just biding your time! Sami made a face and crossed her arms over her chest indignantly.
"Come on now. Stop that!" he exclaimed. "Besides, I know you'll like this present." She tried to look away, but curiosity got the better of her. She glanced over as he slid a large box out of the tote. Sami looked, skeptically, at the box in his hands. "Now I know that these are your favorite . . ."
He held the box under her nose but she scowled darkly and then shoved it away. Her arms went over her chest and she lifted her chin defiantly.
Lucas smirked. "What? Do you think I did something to them?"
She arched a brow at him incredulously. You? Poison my food? Perish the thought!
He chuckled as if he had heard her speaking. "Yeah, I know. I swear I didn't touch it. No icky grubs replacing the cherries. No mud in place of the cream. The chocolate’s really chocolate." He held up the box. "It's even still in the wrapper!"
Sami rolled her eyes. That meant nothing. This was the man who'd taught her the art of steaming open Austin's mail.
"Alright," he said. "I'll prove it to you." She watched as he tugged off the plastic wrap, wadded it into a ball, and then dropped it into the trashcan. Soon, the lid was open and she saw the plump chocolate balls. "Pick one," he said, holding out the box.
She furrowed her brows and shook her head, emphatically.
"I'm going to eat it, Sami. I'll prove that I didn't do anything to it. If you pick it, then you’ll know that it's not a trick."
She still looked skeptical and he shrugged. "Hey, not my problem. You're the one who likes them." He moved to put the box back on the table but she quickly reached out and snatched one up. He chuckled. "I knew you couldn't resist."
Her eyes went to the candy in her hand and then back to him. "Yeah, alright." He took it from her, opened his mouth and dropped it in. He smirked wider as he chewed. "See. Nothing wrong with it." A glint flashed in her eyes and he shook his head. "Of course, I'm sure you'd like to have seen me keel over onto the floor."
Sami suddenly looked like the cat that had eaten the canary. Would you?!
He saw the look in her eyes and laughed. "Sorry, Baby. Not today," he teased, loving the way she bristled at the affectionate term. With the most charming smile that he could muster, he offered the box again. "Now, do you want one?"
She looked at him and then down into the box again. She seemed to be pondering if she should trust him.
He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sami. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to poison you in the hospital? How many people saw me come in here? Besides, I just ate one." She narrowed her eyes at him and he shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'm sure the candy stripers will be by with some nice, rock-hard gingersnaps and warm milk later . . ."
Lucas started to put the box back but she grabbed his wrist. He looked at her and paused with the box in front of her. "Change your mind?"
She glared at him harshly but then grabbed one of the cherries out of the box. She studied it a moment and then popped it into her mouth with a satisfied grin.
He shook his head and laughed. "Ms. Paranoid."
Her eyes looked up at him. Do you blame me?
To her complete surprise, he answered her. For a crazy moment, she wondered if he could read her mind. “I don’t suppose I do,” he whispered. His voice almost sounded sorrowful.
She stared at him in surprise and he managed to give her a weary smile before glancing at his watch. "Well, I know you're going to be sorely disappointed but I need to get out of here. I have a meeting to get to."
For the first time since he'd arrived, Sami smiled directly at him and waved her fingers.
He saw the sarcasm in her gesture and grinned. "Now don't go all teary on me, Darling.
You know I have to leave."
Her eyes narrowed as he said the word, Darling and her smile turned into a deep scowl. This time, there was something different in her glare. It didn't seem genuine. It almost seemed to be forced. Perhaps she enjoyed his visits more than she cared to admit. At the very least, he treated her normally.
He'd seen how her parents and family treated her. Everyone stared at her in pity and told her to rest. They wouldn't let her exert herself in anyway. They wouldn't even allow her to attempt to communicate, instead busying themselves with telling her about how sorry they were for her.
He gently mussed her hair. This earned him another Sami Brady scowl as she reached up and pushed his hand away. "I'll tell Will you said hello," he offered. He paused and looked at her closely, remembering her gestures earlier. "And that you said you loved him."
A faint smile passed her face and she glanced at the framed picture of Will he had brought her the week before. Then, just as suddenly her face fell and she seemed to sigh. She looked back to the brown teddy bear at her side and pulled it to her chest. Once again, Lucas felt his heart break for her. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. He found himself looking at the girl that he'd helped so often as a child and not the strong woman she had become.
Lucas saw a young girl struggling through Bulimia. He saw a young girl who had just been raped. There wasn't even a hint of the vindictive ***** that he'd come to know the past few years. Suddenly, she just seemed lost and alone. In that moment, he realized something with stunning clarity. All these years, he'd refused to see it but all at once it hit him. Deep inside herself, Sami was still that lost little girl. She always had been.
As if his arm had a mind of its' own, it reached out and he cupped her chin. Slowly, he pulled her face up to his, seeing the tears shimmering in her eyes. Her eyes looked back uncertainly but if he looked deeper, he saw the fear there as well. Quietly, he sat down on the bed, his hand moving from her chin. Sami hadn’t moved but her eyes told him everything. They were clear and for the first time in years, he saw the vulnerability that lay behind her blue irises. Her soul was bared for him and he slowly reached out to pull her into his arms.
Sami saw the sincerity in his eyes. For the first time, she allowed herself to see the strong resemblance between him and her son. His eyes gazed at her, with all the innocence of their little boy. Something stirred deep within her. She could see it stir in his eyes as well. Without a word, he reached out and drew her into an embrace. Her first instinct was to jerk away but the feel of his arms around her quickly overtook the feeling. His were the only arms that felt genuine. Her family barely hugged her and when they did it felt forced. This was so different. Years of friendship and animosity flew through her head in a matter of seconds. In the end, she realized that this was the first real comfort she had felt since the accident. Silently, she laid her head on his shoulder. Tears fell down her cheeks and slowly, her arms went around his torso.
Lucas could scarcely believe that she hadn't pulled away. He wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to embrace her to begin with. Lord, help him because it felt so right. It was so familiar. It was so nice. He was even more shocked when he felt her head come to rest on his shoulder and her arms slipped around him. Hot tears slipped from her cheeks and through the material of his shirt. He turned his head slightly, pressed a soft kiss into her hair, and then buried his face into the golden locks. "It's going to be okay now," he whispered. "I promise."
Sami still didn't move, but her fingers grasped the back of his shirt, as if to convince herself that he was really there. She didn't know what was happening or how they had found themselves in this ludicrous situation, but the way she felt, she wasn’t going to question it. His soft words warmed her and she noted the slight crack in his voice as he spoke. His voice was soft and husky, just inches from her ear. His breath brushed gently against her hair. She would have sighed if she could.
He wished he could hold her forever but he had to go to that meeting. The Horton
Foundation was important but dammit . . . what a time for a meeting. After six years, he finally had her in his arms again. Reluctantly, he drew back and found himself looking into her tear stained face. Several tears had fallen from his eyes as well but he didn't move to wipe them. Instead, he wiped hers, using the pad of his thumb beneath each eye. "Everything will be okay now, Sami. You'll see."
Somehow, she found herself believing him. He had held her, wiped her tears and reassured her. Every instinct she had was screaming at her. What was she thinking? How could she trust him? Why had she let him even touch her. All of her instincts shouted at her but one. Her heart wouldn't let go of his sincerity. Something had changed. She nodded her head in response, her heart in her throat.
He stared at her a moment longer and then glanced at the table beside the bed. The contents of the tote bag spread across it. "You've uh . . . got plenty to keep you busy for awhile?"
Again she nodded, her arms pulling the teddy bear closer.
"Good deal," he said. Quickly, he glanced at his watch again and silently cursed. "I've got to get out of here or I'll be late."
Sami nodded again, watching him stand. He gestured at the box of chocolate covered cherries on the table. "Save me one, huh?"
She smiled faintly, again nodding her head, this time mouthing a word. Okay. Then, she held up a single finger.
Slowly, he backed towards the door but his eyes still bore into her. “That’s right. Just one. The rest are for you.” He was so tempted to blow off the meeting but he knew he couldn't. "Bye," he said softly, pulling the door open with his left hand.
Her eyes met his and she slowly waved. Good-bye, she mouthed.
The door closed behind him with a soft click. Sami sat for a minute and stared at the door. Part of her hoped he would return but he didn't. She was alone again but for some odd reason, she didn't feel alone. In fact, she felt less alone than she had in years. She smiled slightly and reached for the CD's that were piled on the table. She picked them up and began looking through them. She noticed a few of her favorite groups and smiled. Will was growing up so fast. It touched her that he knew some of her favorite artists.
She laid them aside, one by one, until finally she came to the last CD. At first, she startled and then a wide smile crossed her face at the subtle reminder. Will definitely hadn't picked out this CD. A tall, slender, blond graced the cover. She was looking back over her shoulder, a coy smile on her lips. Across the bottom, in golden letters, was a single word. Cherish. Yes. She remembered too.
Shattered is © Amanda. Sami, Lucas, Will, and the storyline premise are © Days of Our Lives and used without permission. Do not use this story or copy it without permission.