Gay?

[RDJ]

Well im really worried. Im a girl who likes a girl and i am freaking out completely! I like her a lot but i hate her at the same time.... Sometimes i dont think she is a nice person and my friends agree. So i spend most of my time telling my friends how much i hate her. Its pathetic really. I dont know what on earth i am thinking outing myself like this. I am terified because i have seen what coming out can do to a person and everyday at school i hear people say awful things about gay people. My friends join in too even although i know they are not homephobes. But i dont understand why they join in. I certainly dont and never had, even before i felt this.

I dread going to school now because it feels asthough everyone knows, even although they dont. I freak out everytime this girl even asks for the time! the other day I had a reasonably long conversation with her and i was shaking. Sometimes i think that she is a genuinely nice person but then i hear about all the things she is into, like drugs and stuff, it makes me sad to think i have seen something that isnt there. I dont think she is the person she makes out she is. But with our different groups of social circles, i can never find out. I have no idea if i am staight or not and i think i am too young to know for certain.
/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Angelina_Fan]

Never think that you are to young to know. Some people.. just know. So what if you are? You're not alone.
One of my bestest friends is gay. And she hid it for so long.. i knew.. i said 4 years ago i think she is.. i can read straight through her.. though she denied it.. then 2 years later she was really depressed and so i talked to her and she told me.. "i think i'm gay".. "I know.." i said. I told her i knew years ago.. i could tell and not to worry. Yes people in school will be mean.. they will be bullied but our group of friends certainly weren't going to turn our backs and let anything happen.. i told her not to worry about anything and when she is ready to tell everybody.. then do it in your own way. Only when you are ready.. so for about a week only she and i knew.. she told another friend of ours and we talked about it when she needed help and eventually loads more people knew. She grew confidence and she was happy now that she was "out". Not everyone knew.. but those who mattered did. She knew that she'd be bullied if everyone found out, though she wasn't the only homosexual. Apparently a few more had outed themselves in various years and had been bullied and gone to the deputy Head for advice.. he told us that she wasn't the only one who was in the situation.. again she felt better.. by the end of year 11 a load more people knew.. they had asked.. she'd deny.. they'd ask.. she'd admit. When she said yes they left her alone. At our leavers due it was obvious she was gay and everyone knew.. nobody cared though.. a couple of homophobes in the popular staring and giving dirty looks.. but they don't matter.
Anyways my friend started college last year.. and some girls from the popular group in high school approached her and said to her "You came out gay in school didn't you?".. "yes" she said.. and they replied "Well done, that's brave of you" and walked away. No grief..

If you feel that you can out yourself in school.. if you can predict in a way how others will react and you are ok to stand by it then do it.. don't be rushed and make sure you have the confidence /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Mahas]

Hello
I understand you must be kind of desperate, but I think you shouldn't.
Well, firstly, you're really young. Maybe you're just confused.
I would recommend you to take a time for yourself and think in which way you like her. Probably you just admire her, that's normal. If you think you could be a gay like you said, then please talk to someone you trust on.
It could be your counselor, or one of your teachers, etc. It's better if you choose an adult. Ask him/her to keep your secret. You need to know some things in order to know if you're a gay or not.
Obviously, this forum is not the place to tell you waht to do. I'm a Psycologist in my country and I work with children. So, I recommend you to talk to an adult and maybe a professional could help you to know the truth.
If you're gay, it's not a sin, it's just your election (but in my personal opinion you're too young to know it)
If you're straight, it's the same, The important thing here is that you find your own answers and you try to be happy.
Blessings, Maha