confussed and upset!

[tinkerbell_jellybean]

i'm really upset....
there are these people at school that are always calling me. they went to a teacher before i had the chance and now the teacher says it's all my fault and i deserve it all, because they didn't tell him the truth, i tried to but he wouldn't listen to me. i don't know why but i cut myself a while ago and i did it again now. it did help at the time but i know that it won't help in the long run. i really don't know what to do. i can't tell my parents because they'll go mad and i don't think i can go through it. one of the only teachers i trusted left this year and i don't know whether i can tell any of the others without my parents finding out. i did tell this one trainee teacher, but he told this girl in the year above me he is quite close to. it's the 6 weeks holidays now, and i thought it would stop these girls, but i saw one of them today and she hasn't stopped! she started calling me a slag and started callig me because i wear glasses! i can't stand it any more but i don't know what to do, i'm one of those people who can't tell everything to everyone, there are certain people i feel i can tell, but i won't see them until september and the trouble could have got worse by then. i went on holiday with the school band reacently and one of the girls were there, when no-one was looking, she slapped me, but because no-one saw, no-one believe's me!!! please help
xXx xXx xXx xXx xXx

[sammypoo1]

first of all and most importantly no one has the right to be bullied, u have just as much right to be treated with respect as anyone else. dont think that u have to cut urself to make things better because as u have probably already found out, it will only lead to things getting worse and u dont want these silly girls and their stupid mind games getting to u like that. they are doing it to ruin ur life, and unfortunately by the looks of it, its working. u need to realise that u r a stronger person. even though it may be hard u have to stand up for urself at all times because they will just always think that they can walk all over u. i dont mean u should hit them back, but stay confident infront of them, dont show any emotion when they insult u and try as hard as possible to act like u really dont care what they think of u, even if it does hurt, if they realise it isnt bothering u they will get fed up with it.
the reason they bully u is maybe because they have some insecurity of their own, and chances are because they are with their friends it makes them feel more popular. have u tried telling ur parets about these girls, it may help if u talk to ur mum or dad about it, or maybe even a sibling if u have any. it will take a great weight off ur shoulders to be able to talk to ur parents about these girls, and they will more than likely have some suggestions. they will probably also be able to go to the teacher and say something about it. im not saying u should tell ur parents about the self harming, only if u feel comfortable with it, please pm me if u need to talk, i myself know what it was like to be bullied but i stood up for myself and now they are too scared to try anything. i really hope u get the problem sorted out, sammy

[Danny_2003]

I had a lot of problems with bullies when I was at school. I told the head of year, and he said he'd put a stop to it. It never did stop. The "main gang leader," left, and most of it stopped, and I became friends with some of them.

Now I've left school I don't need to worry about it. My dad says "When you're grown up, you'll cruise by them in your expensive car, and it's raining and you'll want a lift. Dive-by and soak them."

just ignore the bullies and tell the other teaches. It willm eventually be sorted out. And who knows, over the summer they might "grow up."

Danny

[tinkerbell_jellybean]

thanks people!

[geekazoid]

The worst thing you can do is cut yourself, it means they have won. You have to be stronger than them. Also, if you cut teachers are less likely to believe you because they believe people cut for attention, so stop. You say you have got in trouble, why? have you been retaliating? because if so, that is encouraging them, they know they are gettingto you. i know it is har, but it is better to ignore them. If a teacher doesn't believe you, go to someone senior, you have the right to feel safe in school and you have the right to be heard and listened to. Tell someone, it is the only way to stop it

[willy925]

first of all and most importantly no one has the right to be bullied, u have just as much right to be treated with respect as anyone else. dont think that u have to cut urself to make things better because as u have probably already found out, it will only lead to things getting worse and u dont want these silly girls and their stupid mind games getting to u like that. they are doing it to ruin ur life, and unfortunately by the looks of it, its working. u need to realise that u r a stronger person. even though it may be hard u have to stand up for urself at all times because they will just always think that they can walk all over u. i dont mean u should hit them back, but stay confident infront of them, dont show any emotion when they insult u and try as hard as possible to act like u really dont care what they think of u, even if it does hurt, if they realise it isnt bothering u they will get fed up with it.
the reason they bully u is maybe because they have some insecurity of their own, and chances are because they are with their friends it makes them feel more popular. have u tried telling ur parets about these girls, it may help if u talk to ur mum or dad about it, or maybe even a sibling if u have any. it will take a great weight off ur shoulders to be able to talk to ur parents about these girls, and they will more than likely have some suggestions. they will probably also be able to go to the teacher and say something about it. im not saying u should tell ur parents about the self harming, only if u feel comfortable with it, please pm me if u need to talk, i myself know what it was like to be bullied but i stood up for myself and now they are too scared to try anything. i really hope u get the problem sorted out, sammy

Sammypoo1 is right, you don't have to be bullied. There must be a family friend out there , that you can talk to. There are plenty of other people in your school that would be willing to help. Talk to a cafeteria worker, custodian,librian,or volunteers. I don't know what country you live in, but here in the United States a School employe by law is supposed to report any kind of abuse. I personally don't care what people think about me. I am only here for myself. I will usually ignore other people that make bad comments. Don't give into their remarks. Next time someone hits you call the police. You will have the red mark from their hit, and plus show it to someone. I stress you have to get a adult involved to help you. You will be surprised on how they will change their outlook toward you. Pleas don't do anything bad to yourself, because I know you are a great person :) Don't let them ruin your life anymore. Take care :)

[Pooh_bear]

You should go to the head of the year / head master/mistress and tell them what is going on. Nobody has the right to tell you that you deserve it, nobody deserves to get bullied.
I found this on some web pages:

What can you do if you are being bullied?

Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and secure.
And if you're different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha - stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they're with others in a group.

You've probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts.
If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn't telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped.
Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again.
An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family or a friend's parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.

Here are some tips you could try to reduce the immediate threat of bullying behaviour. They're NOT a guarantee to immediately stop it all happening, but remembering them may help next time you're faced with a threatening situation.

Ignore it: It's a good step to try and ignore the people bullying you, and the attention they get from making you feel bad because if you deprive them of the attention, there's little point in them bullying you. Ignoring them can be part of a solution, but it's easier said than done as it's very difficult to ignore if the bullying just goes on and on.


Walk away: There's no point listening to someone being abusive when you don't have to. Showing that you're not just going to stand there and take it shows that you're no easy target.


Try to stay in company: You are less likely to be bullied if there are other people around you. But if the people bullying you do manage to corner you away from a group of others, you need to try and deal with the situation as calmy as possible, retaining as much control as possible.


Act assertive: Assertiveness is not the same as being rude or aggressive. It's about you believing - and stating - that you have the right to be heard and respected as the person you are.
If someone challenges that right by behaving in an aggressive and bullying way towards you, you may find that simply showing that you are not the walkover they expect you to be may help. You do not need to instantly BE assertive, but if you can learn a few tricks about how to APPEAR assertive, you're less of an easy target.

Don't panic: If you're caught in the middle of an intimidating situation with the people bullying you, your main concern is to ensure that you get out of it as safely as possible. Try not to let on that you feel angry or upset about the way they're treating you.


Stand tall: Even if, deep down you do not feel it, standing upright so that you appear big and confident will actually make you feel bigger and more confident.


Speak clearly: Being clear, even in simply saying things like 'No', 'Don't do that', 'Leave me alone' or 'Stop'. It makes you sound more confident – and therefore you're being more of a threat to the intimidating behaviour. Practice it often, out loud, on your own; you will feel more in control. It does work.

[tinkerbell_jellybean]

thanks everyone!