we need our privacy, please help!!!

[sammypoo1]

this might sound a little silly but please read ALL of the post before u think im totally crackers...

ok, here it goes, my brother constantly has his friend in, so far it doesnt sound too bad. but when i say constant i mean constant. i wake up and go downstairs and he is in my house before i even wake up. he doesnt go home throughout the day and is in until 9, 10 and sometimes even 11 o clock in the evening. it is like this everyday and im getting so fed up with it.

it feels like i can never sit down and chill in my own house because he is constantly in. i now feel pressured into making sure im always suitably dressed meaning i cant wear my pyjamas downstairs in the evening when i just want to curl up and watch a film.

even when my brother says that he will be out after lunch, say if his friend has just come back from somewhere, instead of going home and waiting he will stand outside the front door looking in!!! i mean that is rediculous... my mum even had to buy blinds for the doors just to stop this from happening!

i talk to my mum about it and we have asked my brother nicely to have a day or to with out his friend in but then he just gets into an arguement with my mum. my brother is only 13 and it feels as if he has complete control over my mum. i really don't know what to do, we have tried talking to my brother politely even shouting at hjim but nothing is working. even when my mum says his friend isnt allowed in, we will walk up to the local shops and when we get back he is in!!!

we have even tried saying to the friend can u go now because we are having our dinner, but he just sits there, and my mum is too polite to say it with more force.

it is normally left up to me to get him out when dinner is ready and then when that happens my brother gets in a stress and walks out with him.

my brother needs to realise that he cant have his friend in all te time but he just doenst see how we feel and always wants his own way.

please suggest something that i can do, because it feels although i cant go anywhere without his annoying friend being there, not even the comfort of my own bedroom!

thanks alot, sammy

[kavz]

awwwwwwwwww
sweety dont worry

it will past you know
but sometimes you gotta show him who is boss!!
wera ur jamies
rebel!!
lol!
im sorry!

[willy925]

Hey Sammypoo1,
I read your post and I feel for you. I understand your frustrations, I have had them myself also. I have questions to ask , what are his living situations at his house? Is he a polite person or negative person? I am taking along shot, but I think he might feel secure at your house instead of his. I would try being polite and starting a coversation with him, when your brother isn't around. I think he will let his guard down and open up you.

[sammypoo1]

Hey Sammypoo1,
I read your post and I feel for you. I understand your frustrations, I have had them myself also. I have questions to ask , what are his living situations at his house? Is he a polite person or negative person? I am taking along shot, but I think he might feel secure at your house instead of his. I would try being polite and starting a coversation with him, when your brother isn't around. I think he will let his guard down and open up you.

hey willy don't get me wrong he is really nice and i actually prefer him to my brother most of the time, he is very polite and we get along quite well, it just feels that he has invaded our privacy and we can't get rid of him.

his living conditions are fine, his mum is so lovely, in fact she is one of the nicest people i have ever met, it just seems like im fighting a loosing battle.

[Don_Diego]

Hey Sammypoo1,
I read your post and I feel for you. I understand your frustrations, I have had them myself also. I have questions to ask , what are his living situations at his house? Is he a polite person or negative person? I am taking along shot, but I think he might feel secure at your house instead of his. I would try being polite and starting a coversation with him, when your brother isn't around. I think he will let his guard down and open up you.

Willy has a point there.
Anyhow, Maybe it's just a phase so don't worry it wont last long. However it may be a good idea to start a conversation with him and he might open to you.

[Ryebeach]

It is entirely possible that this person does not realize or understand that you or your mum are upset with him always being there, no matter how directly or indirectly you may have tried to explain that to him in the past. You or your mum are going to have to sit down with this person and explain that he cannot always be in your house. Set time limits for how long he can be at your house and what time he needs to leave in the evening and how early he is allowed to come to your house in the mornings. Let him know those limits and hold him to them. If he's as nice of a person as you've desribed him to be, he will understand and respect your families decisions. Keep us posted.

[Emy]

My brother's 24, but often invite his friends to come at home... My parents are not enough autoritharian with him, and then, i cross/hear them when it's nearly 5:00 AM sometimes. My brother don't eat with us, he send us packing when we want to speak with him!
I think that it would be better for you to put him any rules now, and say him " that's the way it is (or nothing!!)!!!"
let your brother know you're going to call his friends parents if he doesn't want to obey you and say him to let you your privacy ;-p (coz when he'll be 24, it'll be too late to do that :/)
good luck ;)

[geekazoid]

you don't sound crzy. i'm the sort of person who is really uncomfortable with other people being around all the time at my house, i like to have my space. there is no way i could put up with that. He is definetly invading your privacy, you should always feel comfortable in your own home, and your brother needs to learn that he is not the parent in the house.

[sammypoo1]

thanks emy and geekazoid, i think i am slowly sorting the probem out after all of these helpful suggestions, im so glad i posted otherwise i would probably still be stressing about it now lol :D

thanks again everyone, u have been a great help :)