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BabyyP
11-30-2005, 09:54 PM
ok, not sure exactly where this ;ttle rant should go.. but im posting it here cos it falls into depression.


was just reading over a paper that my mom had from my childhood theripist and school counselor.... i am so P*SSED OFF! Not in any of this file from my school or the hospital, not even one single word atall says anything about my abuse. WTheck!!!
no, no wait...

Lairs!

" I asked Helen if anyone had ever touched her. She looked up calmly said - no." Bull. I told every person the truth!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
If it wasnt so late , and if i could remember their names, I would call and ask them why they lied.
I remember.. I remember the teacher asking me, I said yes..and then they took me into some room with 3 or 4 different people..and this lady made me tell her everything that had ever happened. I was 7 or 8 when I started telling everything, and then when I came home my mom would beat the sh*t outta me because I was "Bad"
ohhhh and to make it even better....
Panic attacks, asthma attacks... gahleeeee!!

i just... ergghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i wanna disapear from this stupid state for at least a wk
i want to get better
i wanna break my abusers leg
i thought about going over there and yellin at him but wat would that do
my mom, my family that knew need to be locked in the padded cell not me. im not crazy.

Ronny
12-01-2005, 08:46 AM
Iam so sorry for everything you have passed through!!! Abouse is realy bad thing!! I hope you will be better soo soon! wish ya luck! sorry i dont have any words!

BabyyP
12-01-2005, 10:41 AM
oh i never posted this to even get advise.. only I can make myself better..(im getting there eventually)
Thanks for replying though.

sammypoo1
12-01-2005, 11:45 AM
im so sorry, i have no idea what it must have been like for u, i dont think i could even imagine, and then for when u do speak out, which most people dont have the confidence to do, no one recognises it! i can see why ur frustrated, i just hope that u feel better soon :)

BabyyP
12-01-2005, 12:05 PM
no, dont be sorry.. I have come to the conclusion that even tho im ticked off and hurting
I am also starting to heal and im not a victim im a surivior and I will find peace withen myself and I am strong and I will be happy eventully.

that was the past..yea it made me angry, but i cant go back and change it. However I can take control over my future deal with my "demons" and gget better.


anyone know a mircle worker?
*hugs*

geekazoid
12-02-2005, 07:38 AM
anyone know a mircle worker?
*hugs*

i do, your own heart and soul. it is amazing how much it can heal, you are right, you are a survivor and you will rise above everything that you've been through to be a strong, confident, fantastic person, i just hope the healing comes quickly to you

sammypoo1
12-02-2005, 02:06 PM
no, dont be sorry.. I have come to the conclusion that even tho im ticked off and hurting
I am also starting to heal and im not a victim im a surivior and I will find peace withen myself and I am strong and I will be happy eventully.

that was the past..yea it made me angry, but i cant go back and change it. However I can take control over my future deal with my "demons" and gget better.


anyone know a mircle worker?
*hugs*
thats great to hear that ur such a strong person and ur right, ur a survivor :)

BabyyP
12-02-2005, 10:27 PM
:) *hugs*

I always pick myself back up. We all do.. if we give outselvsa chance.

rocco
12-04-2005, 02:26 AM
Its great that you managed to get back up n focusing on the future rather than the past.I hope the decisions u make in the future will help u to heal n have a better life.All the best n take care