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danboi207
12-05-2005, 08:03 AM
We've had some excellent quotes contributed to the "Reese Quotes Game." I was reading through the back-posts, and thought to myself, wow... Imagine what this would look like all compiled into one? I put the majority of them here... (Some of them would be harder to fit into something like this than others, which is why some were left off.)

Enjoy! :D

All I Needed To Know I Learned From Reese

On Religion…

"Maybe it´s his time. Who are we to play god?"

"Amazing Race, how sweet the taste, that saved a wrench for me, i once was in the lost and found, was blind but found my keys"

"Isn't there some kind of loyalty pact or something I can sign to get out of here?"

"You forget, you're talking to a bunch of godless heathens here. Your ghost stories don't work on us."

"Thank you Lord for giving me the talent to express my love for my family the only way I know how."

On Family and Brotherhood…

"Mom said you weren't allowed to talk about that."

"Oh, man. Two guys as your parents, that house has gotta be a dude’s paradise. "

"Ok. I admit, I’ve been a crummy brother and I probably should of tried out that new choke hold on an animal before I tried it on you"

Reese: "Dewey it's me, you like me"
Dewey: "No I don't!"

"You hug me and the lesson starts right now"

"I’m the one who spit in Dewey’s cereal this morning. I mean..."

"That's the bravest thing I've ever seen you do.... {Laughing} You're gonna die!"

On Himself…

"Oh, I'm a low-life? You're the one that spends everyday at lunch sucking on a straw that's been under my armpit. "

"What are you going to do with a kid like me, ground me?"

"Why dont you just admit it, nobody in this house cares about my hair but me!"

"I saw that look! It´s my look! Now I know where I got it from."

Reese: "My name isn't Reese anymore..."
Malcolm: "Well, what is it?"
Reese: "Um, I dunno, but it isn't Reese!"

"Mom, Dad, I wanna be a pig."

Reese’s View of the World We Live In…

"Some of you are damaged in places we can't see"

"Thanks to you, no one has to do anything anymore, it's anarchy baby! That's the word right?"

"She's out there... the demon child! She'll spend the rest of her life in a Truck Stop on the Interstate biting hillbillies!"

Malcolm: You like clouds?
Reese: Yes, I like clouds! I call them sky kittens.

On Intelligence…

"I don’t read, not unless I absolutely have to for school. Otherwise I feel like they've won"

Reese: "Dude, you think about everything too much... You just gotta calm down, turn off your brain."
Malcolm:"Its not that easy"
Reese:"Sure it is. I do it all the time. Watch"...(*Reese stares into space*)
Malcolm:"You can’t just turn off....... Reese?......Reese?"
Meese:"Whoa,how long was I out?"

Personal Mottos…

"And leave a mark? NO WAY! Mom would kill me! No evidence, no crime!"

"If there's one thing I've learned- you can't clear your name; you can only ruin someone else's."

"Let’s let my dad worry about that"

"My public defender wouldnt even try the insanity defense"

"No! I. . . I was looking at th..the other thing!"

"I wonder what it is?"

Be All That You Can Be…

"You know, this is supposed to be the greatest Army in the world and you can't even kill the three of us. I'm not impressed."

Only Reese…

"Hey, why is there bacon in my pocket?"

"I'm going to go hit the monkeys - I mean, go see the monkeys."

Malcolm: Reese, give me your pocket knife.
Reese: Ok, but if you miss her you'll only make her madder.

Francis: "You spent most of the money on candy."
Reese: "Yeah, and the rest on her present."
Francis: "But you spent most of it on candy!"
Reese: "We've established that! We're just going in circles here!"

"Don't make him drink from the toilet- it's not as satisfying as you think."

"What's cooler than a smoking baby?"

"Think of it as eating the Mona Lisa."

Am I In Trouble?

Reese: "I have a problem. There's this girl..."
Hal: "Leave her alone before she calls the police on you.”

"Hey mom, is this a bad time to tell you I got kicked out of shop class?"

"Is this going to be shoe store bad or circus bad"?

(To Malcolm) “You’re the one who’s supposed to be smart enough to keep us out of trouble!”

Is That A Threat?

"Your mindless robot-like obedience to every demand I make, no matter how small"

"You´re gonna wear this and there´s nothing you can do about it"

"I've got a gun, you make one move and you're all getting it"

The Opposite Sex…

"My God! Women are the cows of people!"

"We'll come back when your udders are ready."

"Hey girly, let me adjust your bra strap!"

The Elderly

“Old people are cool.”

(On dancing with old ladies) “It’s just like touching a dead person. It’s just like touching a dead person.”

Ryebeach
12-05-2005, 08:14 AM
Wow Dan! :eek: Thank you very much for putting these altogether. Awesome idea. :)

Everyone has posted some classic quotes of Reese and it's wonderful to have them all in one place like this. If you need a laugh, this is the thread to come to. :D

danboi207
12-05-2005, 08:17 AM
This is a great group, and we certainly have the talent of Justin's ability to deliver Reese to thank!

If anyone wants a copy of the quotes, msg me- I have it saved to MS Word- it's something I am thinking of working on for Justin's birthday...

sammypoo1
12-05-2005, 09:54 AM
thanks for all of the quotes :D i love the "only reese quotes", they are soooo funny rofl :) oh and the "Mom, Dad, I wanna be a pig." hahaha :)

BiLlYbEnAsSi
12-05-2005, 11:14 AM
awesome, nowthis is the ultimate collection!

αℓε×_рр
12-05-2005, 11:22 AM
wow wot a great idea! must have taken agesss lol

Celes
12-05-2005, 11:39 AM
Wow, that´s a really cool idea! Thanks for that! :D

GLL1987
12-05-2005, 11:57 AM
Ahhh Wicked!!! Thanks a lot for that Dan! They make me laugh so much! :)
I know where to look if I need cheering up now: The almighty "All I Needed To Know I Learned From Reese" book. Yaaaaaaay! :D

sammypoo1
12-05-2005, 12:42 PM
Ahhh Wicked!!! Thanks a lot for that Dan! They make me laugh so much! :)
I know where to look if I need cheering up now: The almighty "All I Needed To Know I Learned From Reese" book. Yaaaaaaay! :D
hahaha a book!!! how awesome would that be!!! lol ;)

AlexTheMartian
12-05-2005, 12:51 PM
lol someone should write a fake autobiographphy of Reese, as if Reese himself wrote about his own life into an autobiography, full of california slang and his bad temper, it should be written exaclty like he talks. :cool:

sammypoo1
12-05-2005, 12:54 PM
lol someone should write a fake autobiographphy of Reese, as if Reese himself wrote about his own life into an autobiography, full of california slang and his bad temper, it should be written exaclty like he talks. :cool:
great idea, sort of mitm memorabilia :p (cant spell)

Caro
12-05-2005, 02:28 PM
Lol i love this quotes :D thanks Dan ;)

naruto
12-05-2005, 03:32 PM
wow Dan! thats really awsome! :) keep up the great job :cool:

danboi207
12-05-2005, 06:29 PM
Thanks everyone :)

If you have Reese quotes you want to share, send them along. I'll try and fit them in. I have a file started with them, and I'll keep up every once in a while by lifting them from here and incorporating what you send me. As necessary, I'll recategorize.

I am thinking of an idea involving this with regards to Justin's upcoming birthday.... Not exactly sure yet what I am going to do, but I have a few ideas :cool:

samboo1
12-05-2005, 11:48 PM
Wow that's so cool! Great work Dan! Like Sammy said, the only Reese quotes rule! :D It would start off with something completely random...."Why is there bacon in my pocket" !? lol ROFL!

GLL1987
12-06-2005, 05:46 AM
Wow that's so cool! Great work Dan! Like Sammy said, the only Reese quotes rule! :D It would start off with something completely random...."Why is there bacon in my pocket" !? lol ROFL!
rofl!! Yeaaaaaaah!! If this book of quotes was real, i'd definately get it and use them on anyone who winds me up LOL :p :D

danboi207
12-06-2005, 04:20 PM
This is an on-going project...

I will compile the Reese only quotes... that's a good idea.

Could you imagine a "One-A-Day" style desk calendar with tear off pages featuring images of Reese and a quote for each day? Finding 365 pics and quotes would be work, but it'd be the best work I've ever done! :)

Ryebeach
12-06-2005, 04:23 PM
This is an on-going project...

I will compile the Reese only quotes... that's a good idea.

Could you imagine a "One-A-Day" style desk calendar with tear off pages featuring images of Reese and a quote for each day? Finding 365 pics and quotes would be work, but it'd be the best work I've ever done! :)
Cool idea Dan, I always have those humorous one-a-day calendars at my desk at work and home but some days, the jokes just aren't funny. If there was a quote a day Reese calendar, I'd always get a nice laugh out of them. :D

jeeperdude
12-06-2005, 06:11 PM
GREAT THREAD DAN!! :cool: :)

This is an on-going project...

I will compile the Reese only quotes... that's a good idea.

Could you imagine a "One-A-Day" style desk calendar with tear off pages featuring images of Reese and a quote for each day? Finding 365 pics and quotes would be work, but it'd be the best work I've ever done! :)
ROFL!! :D that's a great idea!! that'd be an amazing way to start the day!! :D lol

kydmatt
12-07-2005, 01:56 AM
lol, that was a great idea wish I woulda thought of that one!
ciao from Edmonton where it is currently...
-27c / -43 with wind chill
ugh

sammypoo1
12-07-2005, 09:16 AM
great idea for the calender, i think if we all had one we would loose so many iq points in just one day if we learnt the quotes haha :p ;)
Wow that's so cool! Great work Dan! Like Sammy said, the only Reese quotes rule! : D It would start off with something completely random...."Why is there bacon in my pocket" !? lol ROFL!
oh yes, randomness is the funniest thing ever!!! it makes everything more interesting:p and is definetly a thing i do lol so i suppose i had better stand up for it :p

samboo1
12-07-2005, 09:16 AM
OMG! Great idea! I think ill make one...but not a quote a day lol. Maybe a quote per month ;) Im taking the easy route here!

Ryebeach
03-26-2006, 12:34 PM
Had to bump this up for any newer members who haven't seen the awesome list Dan put together last year of Reese quotes. For me, each quote brings back memories of the various episodes and while I can't remember which quote goes with what episode, they make me laugh and smile with each read. :D Does anyone have any other Reese Quotes to add to the list?

sammypoo1
03-27-2006, 02:22 AM
I'll have a flick through and see which ones I can find Rye :D

sammypoo1
03-31-2006, 08:02 AM
I have threee for today :D I don't know whether or not they have already been posted or not though :confused:

"I took a shower...is that such a crime?"

"Maybe I'm the good one after all! Here mum, (hands Lois a glass of water) for your throat, I put a little honey in it."

"Well can you tone it down a little bit? 'Cause I cant keep up with all these butt-kickings."

spantoo
03-31-2006, 08:47 AM
WOW thanks a lot Rye! I'm sad 'cause I cannot co-operate, 'cause I'll have only italian quotes... I'm afraid sometimes italian TV censured Reese's sentences, changing them with others... maybe it's not, so I hope, but often it happens e.g. with jap cartoons :mad: Oh, I've not to think about such things, better to read Reese's quotes :D Thanks for sharing!

Zoee
04-04-2006, 12:10 AM
Wow Dan :) :eek: :) This is awesome :D These made me laugh so much. It was a brilliant idea, thank you so much for sharing all these quotes with us!

GLL1987
04-04-2006, 10:05 AM
I have threee for today :D I don't know whether or not they have already been posted or not though :confused:

"I took a shower...is that such a crime?"

"Maybe I'm the good one after all! Here mum, (hands Lois a glass of water) for your throat, I put a little honey in it."

"Well can you tone it down a little bit? 'Cause I cant keep up with all these butt-kickings."
LOL!!! Thanks for the cool quotes Sammy! :D I think the first one is weird and kinda gross of Reese to say, but really funny! :D

sammypoo1
04-04-2006, 10:41 AM
LOL!!! Thanks for the cool quotes Sammy! :D I think the first one is weird and kinda gross of Reese to say, but really funny! :D
Um I think it was an earlier episode, somebody tell me if I'm worng but I think its from the episode "cheerleader" where Reese gets his first crush? :confused: Well I can remember he had the shower because of one of his crushes lol :p

spantoo
06-07-2006, 08:47 AM
I want to bump this up again for the new members :)
Um I think it was an earlier episode, somebody tell me if I'm worng but I think its from the episode "cheerleader" where Reese gets his first crush? :confused: Well I can remember he had the shower because of one of his crushes lol
yes I'm pretty sure it's from Cheerleader

By the way, I was thinking of this thread because today I was watching the episode Christmas Trees and I've found that so great quote :D
In italian it's:
Malcolm: "Ammortizzata la spesa iniziale, cominceremo a guadagnare al 67° albero"
Reese: "Allora vendiamo quello per primo!"

In english it's like:
Malcolm: "We'll amotize the starting investment and start to make money with the 67th tree"
Reese: "Then let's sell that one first!"

ROFL!!! an amazing Economy lesson :D
(If somebody knows the exact english quotes, please post them ;) )

Ryebeach
06-07-2006, 09:04 AM
I want to bump this up again for the new members

yes I'm pretty sure it's from Cheerleader

By the way, I was thinking of this thread because today I was watching the episode Christmas Trees and I've found that so great quote :D
In italian it's:
Malcolm: "Ammortizzata la spesa iniziale, cominceremo a guadagnare al 67° albero"
Reese: "Allora vendiamo quello per primo!"

In english it's like:
Malcolm: "We'll amotize the starting investment and start to make money with the 67th tree"
Reese: "Then let's sell that one first!"

ROFL!!! an amazing Economy lesson :D
(If somebody knows the exact english quotes, please post them ;) )
LOL, that's a great quote from this episode Ale! :) Thanks for posting it and for bumping this thread. Here's the exact English quote:

Malcolm: We'll be profitable once we sell tree 67.
Reese: Why don't we just sell tree 67 first?

It's so funny and believable when Reese says this and the way Justin acts when he says it, that I, as a viewer, believe that Reese believes what he's saying. It makes it even funnier. :D

With the holiday episodes, FOX only reruns them around the holidays so unfortunately we only get to see Christmas Trees and the other Christmas episodes once a year.

spantoo
06-07-2006, 04:15 PM
LOL, that's a great quote from this episode Ale! :) Thanks for posting it and for bumping this thread. Here's the exact English quote:

Malcolm: We'll be profitable once we sell tree 67.
Reese: Why don't we just see tree 67 first?

It's so funny and believable when Reese says this and the way Justin acts when he says it, that I, as a viewer, believe that Reese believes what he's saying. It makes it even funnier. :D

With the holiday episodes, FOX only reruns them around the holidays so unfortunately we only get to see Christmas Trees and the other Christmas episodes once a year.
Thank you Rye for the exact English quote! :) that's hilarious :D

scandinavian
06-07-2006, 05:27 PM
hahaha!! those quotes are just so funny!:D :)
Reese is so cool...:)