shelleyd1972
09-08-2006, 10:33 AM
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets,"
said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only
have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my
head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I
dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took
the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern
took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was
in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told
me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the
back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call
from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to
a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector"
was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher
if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was
eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant
killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid!"
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets,"
said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only
have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my
head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I
dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took
the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern
took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was
in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told
me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the
back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call
from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to
a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector"
was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher
if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was
eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant
killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid!"