Can Someone Help Me, Please!?

[xCh4rm3dx4ng3lx]

Hey Everyone,

I didn't know where else to turn, but i thought with all the help and friendly people on SafeSearching, that someone may be able to suggest a few things or something to do.
It's kinda a long story, but I'll try to tell it the best i can, but some of is from quite a while ago, leading up to now.

So here goes;

Well...I only started getting over the depression stage i was going through about a Year ago, which lasted about 2 Years, and not many people helped me through that time. It was between my last Year of School and going through College. I was having a hard time in School, with all my GCSE's, my Mom and Dad had broken up at the time, my twin Sisters we giving me a hard time, we were in between moving House's and getting an extension onto my Nan's House (which is where we were moving to) But i was going through a lot, and didn't feel as though someone like me, should deserve to exist, which i feel as though i didn't, which one night, led to cutting myself. At first it only started as a little, but then i started doing it almost every day, and it was getting worse. I didn't actually want to kill myself, but i wanted to let my pain out. That lasted about 2 Weeks, before i actually had the courage to try, and confide in a couple of my Friends...Well, that didn't work. I had about 5 of my Friends turn their heads from me, and stopped being my Friend, because of what i had done to myself, but only my Best Friend stuck by me, which wasn't good enough, and of course that made me feel worse. I did stop cutting myself after i had actually realized what i state i made myself into, and it made me sick to look at what I'd done to myself, because of all the stress that i felt was going through my life, and that i didn't deserve, i mean i was supposed to be focused, because of my Exams, but i wasn't, and i feel though if i hadn't had been stressed the way i was, that i could have gotten better Grades in School, a short while after that my Period stopped for over a Year. All i had been told by my Teachers was that i was stupid, and should see a psychiatrist, because i was mental, and i don't think that was they way they should have dealt with it. I did end up telling my Mom what i had done, and she was upset, but also agreed i was mental, and somehow my Sisters ended up finding out too, and kept making things worse.

Now, was the start of my College Year, which kinda started horrible, because i didn't get the right Grades to get onto the Course i applied for, and had to take the Lower Course...But i thought “right, this is not School, it will be nothing like School, this is a new Year”! Things were starting to get better for me, and were starting to look up. My arms had actually cleared up, which i was so happy about, and nowadays you can't really see any of my scars. I was making new friends, and the best thing was, was that i had found my first Boyfriend (which i never thought I'd have)

College came to an End, with me Passing, but still not getting onto my Next Course, which i didn't mind about, because i can still go back, and things were going back to normal at Home. My Mom and Dad were back together again too.

Things did start getting bad for my Boyfriend at Home, and he ended up moving in with my Family for almost a Year, and never went back Home. Then things started going back to bad for me. I ended up working with my Mom at a Residential and Nursing Home for the Elderly, which i enjoyed! But my Mom didn't like me working with her, and said in ways that i was an embarrassment to her, so i ended up leaving my Job because of it, and as i had no Job, and started to look for one, my Mom started giving me a hard time about Paying her Money to live under her Roof, and calling me names all the time, and then things went from bad, to worse! One morning my Boyfriend stuck up for me, and confronted my Mom, which led to him being kicked out, and i went with him, and we both ended up Homeless for 2 Weeks. He ended up living at his Nan's over an Hour away from me, and i went back Home, but my Mom and I, didn't really speak a Word to each other for the next 2 Months i was living there, until i told my Dad that i was moving out at the Weekend, that she started speaking to me again, and we are fine now.

So, now I'm living with my Fiancée, David (he proposed in March), and things were great, we were free of Parents, lol...But now i do find that he feels as if he can rule me, and we have been having the worst arguments lately. He ruined my 19th Birthday last Month, which I'll never forget...But we're okay at the moment.

The one main thing i promised myself, would be that id NEVER let what happened to me, happen to my Sisters.

So, as it goes now; One of my Sisters and I, were on the Phone Last Night, and we said we were going to play around on my other Sister. I Signed onto one of my M.S.N Accounts, that she doesn't know about, to try and get a Password for one of the pages thats Passworded on her Website, which is about a Boy, that we wanted to know about.
She ended up telling me, posing as someone, who found her Website and Added her...That she has slept with this Boy, unprotected, and no worried that she is Pregnant and that the Boy wont go out with her, but she loves him so much, and that she has been cutting herself because of it, and she is only 14!

I'm worried about her, and don't want anything bad to happen, and i don't know what to do. I Saved the Conversations we had, and tried asking her to tell her Mom (my Mom) about it, and she said she wont, and i said what about your older Sister (Me), and she doesn't want to confide in me either.

It played on mind all last night, thinking of what i should do. Should i tell my Mom about it?
:( :confused:

Anyone got any suggestions??

Kelly xx

P.S; Sorry this Post is so long :(

[sammypoo1]

I don't think you should tell your mum, you said when she found out about you she was upset, which is understandable. If anyone tells your mum it needs to come from your sister. You need to tell your sister that you will always be there for her, even though you may think she already knows it, sometimes people do need to hear it. Your sister may feel as if she knows best when it comes to her situation, or that she doesn't need to talk about anything, it'll all sort itself out. She might even feel like you won't understand her or may feel stupid talking to you about it. I know I would feel really silly talking to my brother about something. Just make sure she is getting help from somewhere, see if she is talking to her friends about it. Give her space and don't pressure her into talking to you about it because she might feel embarassed or stupid about what she's done. I hope some of that helps! Good luck with everything :)

[xCh4rm3dx4ng3lx]

Thanks xx

I didn't think anyone was going to Read this Post, because it's so long.

Thanks again :)

[sammypoo1]

Thanks xx

I didn't think anyone was going to Read this Post, because it's so long.

Thanks again :)
You'll be surprised ;) People around ss will always be there to help :)

[laura2121]

hiya xCh4rm3dx4ng3lx
wow thats been tough on you! it sounds like your mum doesnt understand depression and self harm hun, some people dont. so its probley better not to tell her. The worse thing that can happen when you ask for help is to be let down, which might be what your mum will do. After all she did that to you. None of you are mental!!!!
i dont think its fair of you to go on her site pretending to be someone else, i no that your intentions were good but if she ever finds out she will feel so hurt, shes so young and might just turn her back on you completly, because this is something shes not ready to share with you.
Your sister needs help, why dont you two have a girlies night in and chat. she may open upto you, sometimes just knowing someone cares, helps!! Have you talked to her about your self harming? maybe if you shared your experience with her she will realise you understand and feel easier talking.
i hope that she finds the help she needs and deserves
oh and your boyfriend has no right to try and control you! show him he cant hun
stay safe

[taz90]

try talking to her about the self harm and depression

i have a few sites that are of use for dealing with that sorta thing if you pm me :)


xo

[missy_17]

I'm not sure. I think you're intentions are good, but telling your mum or confronting your sister will just upset her. In the end you have to make a decision, it won't be easy but you know you'll have done it for the right reasons. Maybe her twin could talk to her?

I hope I've helped :)

[LookForClarity]

I used to cut myself and when my mom found out she asked me if I wanted to see a psychiatrist. It wasn't the first time I had been sent to one for emotional problems. I wanted some body to help me, I just didn't know how to ask without sounding crazy. He helped a lot. Ask your sister why she doesn't want to confide in you. Maybe she is scared if she told someone out loud it be true. That you tell some one. Try to just be there for her and help her. If you can help her for the moment and she seems to not be in immediate danger, I would wait on telling anyone and let her do it in her own time. Maybe she just needs you to look out for her no matter if she likes it or not, you're family and family take care of each other.

[lady lou]

hii if ever faced with a situation like that i would go with my gut feeling and do whats best for my sister:o hope that helps

vanessa:)