i dont know what to do anymore

[taz90]

This isnt all that complicated, but im just completely stuck for ideas.

My girlfriend has had a bit of a problem with drinking since her grandad died, they were real close, they saw eachother everyday, he near enough raised her, when he died the only way she could see to cope with it was by drinking. She's 16, so not even legal to drink and its not doing her any good.

Soon as a problem arises she turns to the drink, no matter what i say. I managed to get her to stop self harming, which sometimes i now regret, its made her drinking even worse.

It was starting to get better until a few weeks ago.. her aunt got hit by a car and ended up in hospital. She just drank and drank all night, anything to avoid the actual issue.

Tonight its got really bad.Her uncle rang her about an hour ago saying that they're going to pull the plug on her cousins life support machine. Naturally she sat and cried for a bit (over webcams, she lives too far away for me to just pop round and see when shes like this) then she went straight for the alcohol. She's already gone through a bottle of whisky and some vodka.

I've told her that its not going to help anything, its not going to make the problems go away, but nothing works anymore..


Anyone got any ideas please?


thanks x

[Nooker]

Your girlfriend needs to seek counseling both for her alcoholism & for her grief (to be able to face life). Until she admits she has a problem she will never stop - it's a crutch for her. It will not be easy to get her to get the help but she needs it to conquer the problems that lead her to the bottle.

[saynotowar]

I agree with Nooker, but also let her know that her relatives wouldn't want her to be this way. Make her understand that while she thinks this will solve the problem, it's not. They wouldn't want her to be doing this. Good luck!

[taz90]

Your girlfriend needs to seek counseling both for her alcoholism & for her grief (to be able to face life). Until she admits she has a problem she will never stop - it's a crutch for her. It will not be easy to get her to get the help but she needs it to conquer the problems that lead her to the bottle.


I managed to drag her into a walk in clinic a little while ago, they sat with us and talked about her drinking and that, but it didnt really help too much... it got her thinking and to stop drinking for a couple of days, then she was off again..

It's just tricky, i mean if i keep on about her drinking shes going to end up hating me in the end.. but in the end i guess its worth it, if it makes her sort herself out..

[taz90]

I agree with Nooker, but also let her know that her relatives wouldn't want her to be this way. Make her understand that while she thinks this will solve the problem, it's not. They wouldn't want her to be doing this. Good luck!


Thanks :) x

[missy_17]

I have to say I agree with Nooker - if she hates you right noe for trying to help her thats ok...in the end she'll see that what you were doing was well intentioned.

Good Luck,
Jo xxx

[chris1990]

I don't know what to say, when you are at the same school, you can ask your classteacher for help. He/she can help you and your friend. In my first class, I had some problems with my homesituation (it has nothing to do with alcohol). I went to my classteacher and she helped me with an other teacher at school. We've talked for houres, on different days and it helped. Off course your friend needs other helps, but your teacher can help you. I hope that it will help! Good luck! We are here for you!

[taz90]

I don't know what to say, when you are at the same school, you can ask your classteacher for help. He/she can help you and your friend. In my first class, I had some problems with my homesituation (it has nothing to do with alcohol). I went to my classteacher and she helped me with an other teacher at school. We've talked for houres, on different days and it helped. Off course your friend needs other helps, but your teacher can help you. I hope that it will help! Good luck! We are here for you!


Hey thanks,
I'll have a word with one of my teachers at college today about it, see what they suggest.. I cant really get her help at her school.. 1) i dont go there.. 2) its nerly 30miles away...


Thanks for all the help guys

[chris1990]

Hey thanks,
I'll have a word with one of my teachers at college today about it, see what they suggest.. I cant really get her help at her school.. 1) i dont go there.. 2) its nerly 30miles away...


Thanks for all the help guys


I hope that it will help! Maybe your teachers can contact her school...

[taz90]

...Its got worse, her auntie died this weekend, which is really sad.. but she's gone back to drinking even more.. ive just been to see my form tutor, who is now making me appointments with the school counsilor, apparently he'll know what to do and has lots of numbers that can help..

She's also said that my college can get into contact with her school so they can be aware of the problem and try and get her help in school too. which would be really useful, if she actually decides to go..



thanks for all the advice and everything guys, really appreciated

x

[blackicegal]

It can definitely be hard.

About four years ago, I went through a serious chemical depression due to some fertility drugs I was taking at the time. I tried committing suicide three times. Each day I prayed to God to "let me die". My husband tried to help, but I couldn't express to him what was going on. He kept reassuring me as much as he could. One day he couldn't take anymore and said if I didn't get help, he'd see about having me committed. It sounds harsh, but I knew he didn't want to see me die.

I had to pretty much hit rock bottom to realize I needed serious help. It's obvious she needs it desperately. If she doesn't get it soon, her family may have to intervene legally. Not the first choice, but if she can't recognize how bad she is, it may be an option of last resort.


Good luck to you.

[chris1990]

...Its got worse, her auntie died this weekend, which is really sad.. but she's gone back to drinking even more.. ive just been to see my form tutor, who is now making me appointments with the school counsilor, apparently he'll know what to do and has lots of numbers that can help..

She's also said that my college can get into contact with her school so they can be aware of the problem and try and get her help in school too. which would be really useful, if she actually decides to go..



thanks for all the advice and everything guys, really appreciated

x

I hope that it will help! When you wanna talk, we are here

[MAGIC_MORRIS]

Hi,

Its been a while since I posted anything on here myself due to having to deal with some personal problems and not knowing for sure that I have/am doing the right thing myself.

I do know that having people who care about you, like you care for your girlfriend does help, she needs you to be there for her even if it means just picking up the pieces when she does hit rock bottom. At the moment she seems to be in denial, the time will come when she realises you are right, and its that time when she will find her truest friends, for they will stand by her and help her through, without judgement.

All you can do is be there, support her as best you, find some support for yourself to help you to help her, and judging by your post you are already doing that. Try to stay strong for her, but find the time to take care of yourself as well, find the time to replenish your own batteries so to speak.

Am thinking of you.

Wishing you both Peace Health & Happiness Always,

Jane Morris

[eilz7]

Your girlfriend needs to seek counseling both for her alcoholism & for her grief (to be able to face life). Until she admits she has a problem she will never stop - it's a crutch for her. It will not be easy to get her to get the help but she needs it to conquer the problems that lead her to the bottle.

^^ i agree. she needs to face up to her problems, no matter how hard it will be for her. all you can do is be there for her
alee
x x x

[asulyssa]

i wish u a best of luck! because u gonna need it!i hope she wiil get out of all her problems!and she is really lucky to have u!
i will pray for her she is just too young!!!
drinking problem is just coused to end of my marriage!i couldnt cope any more bec. my husband never tried to get a help never wanted. he was always on denials!
and end of 4 years i decided to leave him! he lives in uk and i took my doughter and come back to turkey!now he can see his girl only few times a year and he still doesnt realise the only problem we had it was his booze!!!!!!!!

hope she will get better with all my heart!!!!!!!!

being 16 sould make her more strong!!!!!

lovexxxx

[taz90]

Hey guys,

thanks for the help with everything, shes slowly starting to sort things out. she hasnt drunk for two weeks now, which is really good. shes also getting help with dealing with the deaths in her family, so hopefully, she'll be all fine very soon :)

[Nooker]

Glad to hear some good news. I hope it continues.

[chris1990]

Hey guys,

thanks for the help with everything, shes slowly starting to sort things out. she hasnt drunk for two weeks now, which is really good. shes also getting help with dealing with the deaths in her family, so hopefully, she'll be all fine very soon :)

I'm so happy to hear that! Hope that it will continue!
Hug Christine