sum reasons...

[cole_and_phoebe]

hey everyones its been along time since ive been on here. ive missed it SO much! the reason i havnt been on for so long is because ive been going through some stuff just recently and i didnt want to put it on everyone. i dont like burdening ppl with my problems. ive decided to come back now thou :) it might take my mind off everything and help me get over stuff.

about a month ago i tried to commit suicide :( my best mate saved me. i dont even really know why i tried to do it. i just felt like i had enough of life. after that night i was really down like all the time. i just felt like whats the point in me living. everything was just getting me down. im kinda feeling better now days. but im just scared incase i go back there. its a really horrible place to be i hated it. i never knew what i was gunna do next. when i did it i didnt even feel anything no fear of dying, nothing!

just last week my grandpa died :( i was so upset. hes like the first person thats died in my family well my uncle died but thats wen i was young so i didnt really understand. ive only got a small family. so i dont really know how to deal with all the feelings ive been feeling. ive been feeling so much guilt for not seeing him for awhile. for not being able to say goodbye. it was such a sudden death no of us expected it coz he was fit and healthy.

anyway that a few reasons for not bein on here for a while. i just felt like if i came on here i wouldnt feel like posting or anything so there wouldnt be much point. i hope you all can forgive me for leaving for so long.

luv amy xxx

[Nooker]

Amy whenever you can post here is fine. We all go through periods where we don't want to do anything but know we are here for you & will give you support in whatever you need it in. I'm sorry about the death of your grandfather. All I have left in my immediate family is my sister & my husband, everyone else is dead. I know it hurts but we've been there & can help.

[eilz7]

sweetie, god im sorry abour ur grandad :( i know its really hard for you, and i kinda know how you're feeling right now. i've tried to kill myself a few times over the years, and each time i felt like saying "this is it" FINALLY but its not true. suicide is not the answer, and i realised that. i came to the conclusion that killing yourself is quite a selfish thing, as you're leaving the world because of how you feel, but i didnt ever think about the people im leaving behind. ok im totally rambling so you should probably ignore me. but it will get better. that i will promise you, coz it does.
we're here for you so dont hesitate to call or text
alee
x x x

[cole_and_phoebe]

^^ aww thanks hunni. i tried to kill myself before my grandad died. i dont think i could do it to my family now after the lose of my grandad. i had the feeling of doing it the other night. i am kinda glad ive been throu it coz now when i think about doin it i think about it first so i dont.

luv amy xxx

[ana_s]

OMG sweetie I donno what to tell u....about ur grandad i knw exacly how u feel coz when my grandad died few years ago I was feelin terrible coz I loved him so much!! Its always hard when ur love once die. I just cant belive u tryed to harm urself!Thast not a solution for anything! I feel down alot & often feel I have nothin to live for but than I remember all the gd things of bein alive & being here & I try to put a smile on my face.& it works belive me!
It seams to me u have everything to be happy dont let small things get u down coz u knw what they say-Life is too short to be anything but happy!

Enjoy,laugh,have fun

[eilz7]

^^ aww thanks hunni. i tried to kill myself before my grandad died. i dont think i could do it to my family now after the lose of my grandad. i had the feeling of doing it the other night. i am kinda glad ive been throu it coz now when i think about doin it i think about it first so i dont.

luv amy xxx

*hugz* just dont...it'll hurt those who love you more than you can imagine. one of my cousins committed suicide because his girlfriend died of leukemia...i've watched someone break apart from the loss of another and its horrific. my auntie doesnt speak about graeme any more, coz it upsets her to think that her beloved son couldnt talk to her. she thought that if she knew, she could have saved him. but theres no use in thinking like that. i've come to believe that when someone dies, no matter how tragically, it was their time to go and if you think about the "if only's" it'll make you worse. crying is good, it gets it all outta your system. thinking about "i wish i hadnt said that to them" is bad. think about all of the good times you shared with your grandad, and smile at the memories. even though i never met him (jeez, i've never even met YOU!) i know that he would want you to move on, not dwell on things that hurt you.

a tip for ya, if you feel all angry...
climb a hill. not a high one, keep away from the edges. it helps if its windy. if so, hold onto something sturdy so you dont get blown away. its better if you're on your own. then just...scream...or yell whatever you're upset about, and swear and curse and cry because it makes you feel better. i used to live right next to a hill, and that was really handy for me when kelly and my gradgrandpa died. just yelled and yelled and yelled. then went home, and took a throat sweetie!! seriously tho, it sounds crazy. but it helps get it all out of your system!

i hope you're feeling better
alee
x x x

[cole_and_phoebe]

aww Ana im so sorry about ur grandad *hugz*.yer same here i often feel i have nothing to live for. im always here for you if you need to talk:) yer that is so true life is too short. but its just hard sometimes i cant help feeling down.but a new year now so im trying to be happy:) and not let everything get me down.

haha alee thats sounds really good but i havnt got a hill round here where i could do that:( lol. it does help thou to let everything out.sometimes just crying makes everything feel so much better.ill have to find somewhere i can just scream lol.

luv amy xxx